


Our Fragile Balance

by ArtisanGriffinKane



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Blood, Car Accidents, Drugs, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Letters, Minor Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Multi, Past Character Death, Past Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin, Past Finn Collins/Raven Reyes, Past Relationship(s), Past Violence, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-07-11 06:21:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 35,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7033183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtisanGriffinKane/pseuds/ArtisanGriffinKane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marcus Kane has two adopted children, he is a police officer, and his life is beginning now.</p><p>Abby Griffin has a daughter that is living through a mourning phase. She is a doctor and a widow and she is ready to start to live again</p><p>They met the first day of University of their children, like a game they shared a coffee, but life is not that simple.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Black Silk Shirt

"Dad, did you remember to collect our badges?" Bellamy turned to Marcus with a raised eyebrow, Marcus looked around momentarily confused.  
  
"Oh no, I forgot, ok Bell, you and your sister go ahead I'll join you" Marcus said, pointing to the crowd of people in front of them. Puffing, Bellamy nodded and followed by his sister, walking to the crowd of people.  
  
Marcus left the building, walking over the "acceptance" area where a girl was handing out badges with the names of each new student and his companions.  
  
"Hello ... Maya - Marcus read on the tag - I am here to collect the badges on behalf of Blake and Kane." The young girl smiled.  
  
"Certainly Mr...Kane, Marcus Kane, right?" she said, handing him a badge. Marcus nodded. The young woman took the other two badges. "Here there are those for your kids ... Bellamy Blake and Octavia Blake, correct?", she asked, Marcus nodded again.  
  
"Perfect, thanks a lot." he said pinning the badge on the pocket of his black shirt, when he was walking back over the building, a petite woman almost _bumped_ into him.  
  
"Oh I'm so _sorry_ " she said out of breath, but before he could say anything she was already running past him without paying attention. Marcus shook his head and walked to the front door.  
  
He was almost inside the building when a young blonde girl ran out the door and stopped a few feet from him looking behind his shoulders, "Mom? We have to hurry!" she shouted, Marcus glanced at her and walked inside, that was not a good day, almost hit by a mother in a hurry and almost deafened by her daughter in the span of two minutes.

  
  
Bellamy and Octavia were waiting for him _anxiously_. "Oh _finally_!" said Bellamy snatching the card from his hands. "Bell hey, it took me only two minutes" said Marcus, giving Octavia her card, she took it and giggling she pinned it on her blouse.  
  
"Two minutes are too long" said Bellamy puffing and headed towards the center of the room where they could sit and listen to the introduction of the University's Headmaster, Marcus sighed and smiled at Octavia.  
  
"Dad relax, he is just anxious" she assured him, Marcus smiled and put his arm around her, when she giggled. "You will be like him next year, right?" He said, chuckling, Octavia raised an eyebrow.  
  
"And who tells you that I'm going to University?" she asked amused. Marcus, for a moment, felt a grip in his stomach, Octavia patted him on the chest "Dad I was just kidding" she said laughing and Marcus sighed in relief. "Don't ever do that again O, or your old man will die" The two, laughing, went to sit next to Bellamy who was tormenting his fingers with his nails.  
  
"Bell ..." Marcus was going to say something, but a shrill whistle warned him that the Headmaster's speech was starting, so he fell silent and merely rested a hand on the boy's shoulder who seemed to calm down a bit under his gentle touch, although he continued to _probe_ the crowd of people around him with hiss eyes.  
  
"First of all let me give you a warm welcome to our prestigious university, to all new students and their families. Welcome to the University of Mount Weather" said the man, a tall, handsome black man, with a white beard sticking out at the end of his chin that gave him an authoritarian but reassuring look. The crowd of kids and parents applauded, smiling and the man raised his hand in gratitude. "I am the Headmaster of this wonderful school, my name is Thelonious Jaha and I am really pleased to see how many new and young faces there are here with us this year."  
  
Marcus turned his gaze towards the crowd, peering curiously in all the faces, of those who would become the new life companions of Bellamy. He saw a couple of kids, they were giggling as they ate candy, one had strange black _glasses_ on his head and was trying to suppress a laughter that surely would have drawn attention to them, the other was an Asian guy who was teasing him while throwing some candies in his mouth. Marcus shook his head in amusement and disbelieve.  
  
He continued to observe the crowd of people until he spotted the young girl who almost broke his eardrum with her screams a few minutes before, she was listening attentively to the words of the Headmaster, she had long blond hair that fell down her back, except for a few strands that were intertwined with some beads, her blue eyes were bright, full of curiosity, her hands in her lap and she looked strangely at ease. At her side sat the woman who almost had _invested_ him and Marcus just now noticed her for real, she had long caramelized hair that hung loose on her shoulders, she was dressed in a casual but elegant way, a pair of black and tight pants and _a black silk shirt_ , that had a sober but inviting _neckline_ that left the tip of her shoulders bare. She was listening to the speech with brigth eyes, even if sometimes she watched her daughter at her side with a protectively smile, Marcus realized only then that Octavia was pricking him, whispering something.  
  
"Dad?" Marcus shook his head and looked at her. "Mh?" She looked at him frowning, then she turned abruptly toward the two women just when Abby was giggling about something that Clarke had told her and Marcus could not help smiling in return, Octavia raised an eyebrow and turned back with a grin.

"Try not to get sidetracked" she said, pointing to the Headmaster who was finishing his speech.  
  
"I would like to thank all of you for choosing our University and again: Welcome!" the Headmaster said with a big smile on his face. The crowd of excited people cheered and Marcus turned for a moment to the two women and had the feeling that the older one had been studying him the same way, he shook his head and turned toward the man who was now resting the microphone on the table. Octavia jumped up.  
  
"Come on Bell, let's go looking for your room" she said reaching for her brother, Marcus got up too.  
  
"Go, while I'm going to take your luggage in the car, see you later guys" he said ruffling Bellamy's hair and printing a kiss on Octavia's cheek that caused her to giggle, while dragging her brother away.

  
Marcus was heading towards the parking lot when a woman's voice reached him. " _Hey_!" Marcus looked puzzled and saw the woman in the _black silk shirt_ that was approaching him smiling, he could not help noticing that, closer, she was even more _fascinating._  
  
"I wanted to apologize for having almost broken your shoulder before" she said with a sincerely repented smile, Marcus chuckled.  
  
"Oh do not worry, I understand, it is the first day even for me, probably my son would have already killed me, but he needs me" he said, chuckling nervously, she smiled.  
  
"Yeah, I understand, it is not easy, but in the end we've been through this so we can come in handy, right?" She said looking at him with curiosity, Marcus nodded.  
  
"Yeah well, I have not attended university but we can definitely be helpful" The woman, for a moment, seemed unsure of what to say.  
  
"Oh I'm sorry I had assumed that you had frequented, excuse me it was presumptuous of me" She was blushing and Marcus could not help but think it was the most _adorable_ thing he'd ever seen.  
  
"No problem, what about you? Have you attended University? " he asked sincerely intrigued by the past of that perfect stranger, who had already managed to make him smile more than he remembered to have done before.  
  
"Yes in fact, I'm a _doctor_!" she said, raising her head _proudly_ , almost involuntarily, surely her job made her proud and Marcus could not help but laugh internally at the thought that the two of them did two jobs so different and yet so similar.  
  
"Well I would have to guess" he said, smiling, the woman frowned.  
  
"Oh yes? How would you do that?" she asked sincerely curious and with an amused tone, Marcus looked down momentarily, collecting his thoughts, then stood looking at her straight in the eyes.  
  
"From the way you look at your daughter for example" the words came easily and the woman for a moment remained impassive, silent, then her eyes seemed to ask him a few more details so Marcus continued.  
  
"From the way your gaze is protective and strong, as if you want to protect her from everything and everyone and you know that you have the skills. I can see that you are a doctor by the way you move your hands and that you keep them neat and clean. It can be seen by many things indeed" he concluded, smiling at her, realizing too late what he had leaked, the woman was looking at him curiously, she seemed to be struggling on a thought.  
  
"Oh ..." was the only thing she managed to say, then a smile bloomed on her lips " This is, certainly, not what I had expected." she said biting her lip, nodding. "So what is your job?"  
  
Marcus felt momentarily disoriented, he did not know why but the idea to give up on the first day of school of his son, to talk with that stranger, especially _intrigued_ him, but that day was important, not only because it was the first school day for Bellamy but because it was the first time in the life of that boy that things were going in the right direction and Marcus wanted to make sure everything would be perfect, so he raised an eyebrow and walked a few steps towards her, making her flinch almost imperceptibly.  
  
"Tell you what, I'll give you time to think, I'll bring these boxes to my son and I'll see you in 20 minutes at the bar at the other side of the road, so you can give me your answer" He did not know why but a weird agitation began to flow in his veins, on the other hand he had just invited this woman for coffee and he did not even know what her name was. But he felt like a gravitational force was _driving_ him toward her, the woman smiled and said.  
  
"All right, we have a deal" she reached for him, Marcus stood motionless for a moment as if he had forgotten how to use his muscles, lost as he was, _observing_ the face of the woman who was smiling in front of him. Then he shook his head and took her hand, he squeezed it, she has a delicate soft skin, and her hand was small but strong, Marcus felt a long _shiver_ running from his arm up to his neck, the woman seemed to sense the same feeling, because she breaks away and hastily rubbed her hand.  
  
"So I'll see you in 20 minutes" she said positioning more comfortably her bag strap on her shoulder, Marcus nodded.  
  
"See you later" he greeted her with a nod and headed for his car, still _smiling_.

 

* * *

  
  
Abby suddenly realized that she was staring at the spot that the man left almost five minutes ago. That tall man, with his dark and deep eyes and his soft beard, his deep voice, his bright smile and... She shook her head and smiling amused to herself, walked towards the dormitories. The only thing she could think of was _What the hell just happened?_

  
Clarke was folding some shirts in the drawers of her new room, she looked around with a sigh, that would be her room over the next few years and still she had not realized that she would stay so long away from her home, her mother, her _old life_. She brought her hand to the necklace that hung from her neck, a small metal _deer_ with two heads hung by a chain, she smiled shyly. She shook her head, smiling to herself, when someone knocked on the door "Come in" she said without thinking twice.  
  
"Hey," the voice of her mother made her turn on her heel, she was smiling with gentle eyes.  
  
"Hey Mom, where have you been?" asked Clarke, her mother had left her to go to the dormitories, saying that she would return immediately and saw her go to the entrance of the building twenty minutes ago.  
  
"Oh nothing, I had to make a phone call ..." she said, looking at her feet, _was she blushing?_   Clarke smiled and nodded saying anything about that.  
  
"Help me finish?" she asked, handing her a blue shirt, Abby nodded, she leaned her bag on the hanger, closed the door and came up smiling at her.  
  
"So? Do you like your room?" she asked cocking her shirt and putting it carefully in the drawer.  
  
"Yes it's... _nice_ " Clarke said, glancing briefly around, Abby was watching her intently.  
  
"Nice uh?" she smiled amused, Clarke looked at her frowning.  
  
"What?" she asked.  
  
"Nothing" said Abby taking the last T-shirts from the suitcase and folding it with expert hands, Clarke sighed and sat at the foot of the bed, Abby closed the drawer and sat by her side  
  
"I am very proud of you, you know?" she said wrapping her shoulders with one arm, Clarke rested her head on her shoulder, then turned her face and buried her nose in her shirt, it smelt good, like the soap that she always used for washing clothes, it smelt like _home_ and like _her_ , her mom, she squeezed her arms around Abby's waist and Abby locked her in a hug.  
  
"Hey ..." she sighed in her blond hair, inhaling the scent that they emanated, Clarke was lulled by that moment, so intimate, she knew that she had never shared quite moments like this with her mother, she knew she had never said to her enough times how she loved her and how much she was grateful to her for all she had done for them, she felt a pang in her chest, and felt an urgent need to tell her everything that was rushing into her head and that was making her heart beating faster.  
  
"Mom?" Clarke said, her voice disguised from the fabric of Abby's shirt.  
  
"Tell me honey" said Abby stroking her hair.  
  
" _I love you_ " she said in a whisper, at those words she felt Abby tightening her stronger.  
  
"Oh me too _kiddy_ " she planted a kiss on her head, then smiled, Clarke raised her head so she could look into her eyes, Abby's eyes were full of a loving and reassuring light, she could cry at the thought that she will never be able to look at those eyes for so long.  
  
"I will miss you so much" she said, looking straight into her large black eyes, Abby froze for a moment, her breath caught in her throat, eyes widened and then a smile bloomed on her face.  
  
"I will miss you too my love, but hey, we can talk at the phone, using Skype, by mail, I can visit you on every weekend, we can see each other every time you want" she said continuing to rock her gently, stroking her long blond hair and kissing her head insistently, Clarke nodded.  
  
"Yes, but ... it wont be the same" she said clutching her more urgently, Abby wrapped her completely in her arms and now Clarke could not move anymore, but she didn't care, because that moment was precious, because she would remember that moment for yhe rest of her life. She felt as if she were writing a very important page of the history with her mother, as if she was reconstructing some _fragile balance_ that had been broken in recent years. After the death of her _father_ , after Finn's _death_ , Clarke had to stop herself from bursting into tears.  
  
"Hey honey?" After a few minutes Abby whispered in her ear, Clarke nodded.  
  
"I would never have to do this but ... I have an _appointment_ and you have to reach out the others for guidance, you know right?" she said, smiling and stroking her back, Clarke nodded again, remaining silent.  
  
"Just another minute" she said, squeezing her, Abby closed her eyes and smiled.  
  
"Of course, darling" she whispered and the two women remained embraced for another minute, _basking_ in the feeling that time was giving them, feeling closer than ever to one another.

 

* * *

  
  
Abby and Clarke were walking silently in the dorm hallways, hands clasped, smiling at each other. Suddenly they reached a large room full of _kids_ and, stopping at the doorway, Abby turned to her daughter, smiling sweetly.  
  
"See you in a couple of hours?" she said, looking intently into her eyes, Clarke nodded.  
  
"Yep" At that Abby kissed her forehead and stroke her cheek, when she was going towards the elevator Clarke put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey Mom?" Abby whirled around.  
  
"Yes honey?" she asked.  
  
"You've said you have an _appointment_ or did I misunderstand?" she asked, crossing her arms in front of her chest, raising an eyebrow, Abby blushed ... _again_. Clarke this time couldn't not notice.  
  
"Oh yeah, well, it's not really an appointment..." she seemed to be searching for words, as if she was afraid to say something _wrong_ , Clarke felt pervaded by a strange feeling, agitation, anxiety, panic? No ... it was _tenderness_ , she felt softened by the sight of her mother who floundered in search of the right words to tell her that she was seeing someone, Clarke smiled and Abby fell silent at once, smiling shyly in return.  
  
"I'm glad for you mom, see you in a couple of hours ok?" she said, laying a hand on her shoulder. Abby opened her mouth as if to say something about the fact that she doesn't even know that man but instead she nodded and smiled sweetly, the two bid their goodbyes to each other by exchanging a kiss on the cheek. Abby then slipped into the elevator, still _blushing_ and agitated.


	2. The bar at the other side of the street

 

 

"This is the last one?" Bellamy asked, taking the box that Marcus was holding out for him.

 

"Yes, after this the car is empty."  Marcus said smiling, but Bellamy scowled.

 

"So you better _hope_ that I find my mp3 player in here then" he said turning away and started to open the box snorting, Octavia raised her eyes from the photos she was looking at, sitting on the couch.

 

"Oh, come on Bell you'll see that is here somewhere, maybe it has _slipped_ into some socks." she said, chuckling, trying to defuse the tension, but Bellamy glared at her and Octavia turned serious, exchanging a look with Marcus.

 

"I'm sorry" she _mouthed_ at him. Marcus smiled and cleared his throat.

 

"Okay, I'm going out for coffee, see you back here in a couple of hours?! When you're done with the orientation course?" He said, looking toward Bellamy, who had his back turned to him. At his words however the boy spun around.

 

"You need more than an hour for coffee? Sure you did not get bored?" He asked seriously worried, Marcus smiled.

 

"Quite sure, I have... _work_ to do. I'll keep busy." Marcus said, trying to hide the urgent anxiety that was growing inside of him at the idea of going for a coffee with a perfect _stranger_ , Bellamy nodded and then pointed towards Octavia.

 

"Sure you do not want to take her with you?" He said chuckling, when Octavia gave him a withering look.

 

"Yes, I am sure. Now get finished with that box, I'll see you in a few hours." he said approaching. He wanted to hug Bellamy, but did not know if he was in the right _mood_ , but when Bellamy closed the distance between them and hugged him instead, giving him a few pats on the shoulders. Marcus could not help but smile and from the corner of his eye he noticed, that even Octavia watched them, smiling.

 

"Come on Bell, let's get this over with. You have ten minutes before orientation starts." she said, rising from his bed, and printing a kiss on Marcus cheek. Before she could get too far away, he took her in his strong arms, holding her close to him.

 

" _Dad_! Let me go!" She let out a scream, giggled and blushed violently.

 

"Oh come on O. I won't be able to do this for much longer. Let me enjoy these last moments." he said laughing and holding her, as thight as to make her short of breath. Shaking his head and chuckling Bellamy continued to empty the box in front of him, while Octavia started struggling to get free from Marcus' grip.

 

" _Dad_!" she began to shout, amusement in her voice.

 

Marcus was not yet accustomed to the sound of her voice uttering that word so significant, that she let out more and more often lately. Whenever that sound reached his ears, -and it was Bellamy or Octavia to say it- his heart beated faster and a smile bloomed on his lips. It was a news to which he was almost accustomed, and he was happy because it meant that their relationship was consolidating, but at the same time he always wanted to try that emotion again and again, without ever getting used to the idea of being the " _father_ " of someone.

 

Octavia began to beat him on the arms to make him let go of her and Marcus, giving her one last kiss on the head, let her go as she turned flushed and panting and shouted: "Get _out_!" Giggling she pushed him out of the room, closing the door behind her. Marcus walked towards the elevator smiling smugly.

 

* * *

 

Abby was standing in front of the bar, at the other side of the road, hands clasped, an awed gaze, biting her lower lip. _I'm still in time to get out, I can always disappear forever, he do not know my name, or where I live...right?_ she began to think, then turned to the University and realized that there was no escape. This man's son went to the same school as her daughter,. She would risk to meet him again and she would not stand the embarrassment in having to look into his eyes, if she had vanished without a word. _Ok calm down Abby, at the latest if the thing starts get unbearable, just pretend an emergency has come up and you have to go asap. You'll be all right,_ she said to herself, nodding, and then sat down on a bench in front of the bar, watching the building, where her daughter was following a two-hour orientation with other young people like herself and she could not help but think how far she had come.

 

* * *

 

_Two years ago_

 

_"Clarke? Honey? Are you sure you're not hungry, even tonight?" Abby had leaned on the jamb of the closed door, arms crossed over her chest. She was distressed and her voice sounded hoarse and tired. She waited for an answer and eventually knocked again. This time she kept her hand on the closed door, caressing it as if somehow her touch could reach her little girl, that -by now- was probably curled on her bed covered by her blankets, crying in silence._

 

_"Clarke?" She asked in a whisper, but received no response. She began to worry, so she decided to knock again, and when even at her fourth attempt to get her attention, raising her voice with stronger knocking, she received no response. Abby decided to take the spare key from the hall and opened the door. But when the door was open, all she saw was an empty bed and a dark room. The only thing she could do was let herself fall to the ground - on her knees, whispering her name:_

 

 

_"Clarke ..."_

 

 

* * *

 

 

_Today_

 

 

Marcus embarked from the campus gates and looked towards the bar and immediately recognized her. She was sitting on a bench, legs crossed, staring out to the windows of the university. She had a particlar expression on her face, as if she was _absorbed_ in reliving a moment from her past. For a moment, he thought of leaving her to her thoughts, but then he remembered her little expression from before - how she had smiled and how warm and soft her hand had felt in his. So, smiling and putting on his sunglasses, he crossed the road with long strides. When he was close enough to be heard he decided to point out his presence.

 

"Have you thought about it?" He said with amusement in his voice,. The woman turned toward him, almost surprised to see him, as if she was lost in a world where no one else was allowed to enter. Marcus immediately felt guilty for having dragged her away from that world.

 

"Oh, hey." she said in a whisper, almost panting.

 

"Hey I didn't want to scare you, are you all right?" He could not help but ask. Marcus knew full well that he had no right to ask her that, yet he felt the need to know. He had to be sure that she was okay. Abby did not seem to complain and smiled serenely.

 

"Yes, of course!" she stood up and Marcus was grateful for wearing sunglasses or she probably would have noticed how his eyes had _traveled_ above the curves of her body, even if they were well protected by this dress. So little provocative, but equally _sexy_. He swallowed embarrassed, while the woman smiled and pointed to a table, a few feet away.

 

"Do we want to sit down?" She asked softly, Marcus nodded.

 

"Sure!" he walked towards the table and offered her the chair to sit down. She seemed almost surprised by his delicate gesture and timidly offered him a "Thank you" for his courtesy, _blushing_ and Marcus was already happy.

 

He sat down and was aware of the fact that by now the sun was not blinding him anymore. He was sitting on the shadowy side of the table, but he decided to keep the glasses on as a precaution, because those bare, white shoulders were far too tempting, and his eyes traced the exposed skin far too often. She was sitting with her back to the sun, which bathed her hair in bright like gold and Marcus was convinced that this view was able to _blind_ him more permanent than any sunbeam ever could.

 

A waiter came to their table immediately, ready to take their orders. She ordered a cappuccino, while Marcus opted for a black coffee. Marcus waited until the waiter had moved away, until he smiled and raised an eyebrow.

 

"So? Have you thought about my job? " he questionsed her, observing the amused smile that spread across her face.

 

"Not really, or at least ... I have not reached a verdict." she answered him, crossing her arms and sitting back more comfortably in her chair. Marcus laughed.

 

"Oh well, come on. Humour me! I'll give you three attempts and then if you can not guess I'll tell you." he suggested, resting his elbows on the table and dropping his face in his hands with an amused smile playing on his face. She lifted an eyebrow and a smug smile appeared, when she rested her folded arms on the table in return, giving him a generous view -even if only for a few moments- on her white skin and her shoulder blades  that were sticking out inviting from under the strands of hair. _Thank God, I have these glasses, I have to remember to wear them more often,_ he thought to himself, when he stared at the movements of her shoulders, while she started talking.

 

"I figured you might be kind of ... a _magician_? So since you've been so good at picking all the details about me. Maybe you have a hidden magicial talent, that no one knows about." she said, chuckling, biting her lip with a raised eyebrow and a lock of hair fell over her eyes. Marcus had to keep himself from brushing it away, so he clenched his teeth, then forced a sincere smiled.

 

"A magician, you say? Well why not? Nice idea ... but alas, no I do not have any magical power. Neither hidden nor obvious." he explained softly, smiling at her. She looked down at his mouth for a while and Marcus swallowed hard.

 

"Ah, I see ..." she said approaching him.

 

"Will you let me take a look at your hands?" she said suddenly, leaving him speechless for a moment. Marcus nodded and showed her his hands. She smiled sweetly and took them in hers, turning them so she could look at his palms, then made something that Marcus should have expected, but that he was not ready to face without cringe and wince. She began to draw some routes with her fingertips on the lines of his rough palm, when he jumped the first time. She smiled, but did not stop or look at him.

 

"Strong hands, big and coarse. These are hands of a person that uses them often for his job, but not as often as a worker, a miner or something like that. You have taken care of them, you have no visible cuts, or fresh abrasions... but ..." She said turning his right hand and passing a finger over the _scar_ on its back. "I can see, that you've been busy." She continued, looking up and Marcus could only nod speechless. He did not believe to be able to articulate more than two words at a time at that moment, he had too many thrills that were traveling through him, from his head to his toes.

 

"I see you are... not married - she said smiling almost _smugly_ , which made him shiver some more - and make good use of your fingers..." she said starting to move his joints smiling. Marcus felt blazed and surely he was blushing, because she was looking at him with a smug grin.

 

"I was mistaken in prejudging you." he said suddenly, she released his hands in confusion.

 

"Excuse me?" she wanted to know indignantly, crossing her arms on the table again. Marcus withdrew his hands and put them in his pockets.

 

"I did not realize that you can read hands, then you are not a doctor, but a seer, a _fortune teller_ , maybe?" He explained himself, smiling and she burst out laughing and Marcus felt pervaded by an intrusive _joy._

 

"Yes, exactly, I lost years and years of my life to study medicine, I specialized in surgery and in the end I ended up doing the fortune teller, that's right." she said, laughing and shaking her head amused, Marcus smiled.

 

"Well you have to admit, that what you just did, was very convincing." he said, pointing at her hands and then raising his own from the pockets.

 

"Oh that? Well it may seem so, but I was only using my clinical eye." she explained laughing and Marcus nodded.

 

"Well, and what do you deduce?" he asked again, approaching her further, resting his elbows on the table and crossing his hands under his chin, she looked at him tilting her head.

 

"I think you're a cop." Marcus remained impassive, for a moment, but then a huge smile bloomed on his face and he ran a hand through his hair, in obvious perplexity.

 

"Well, you won." he said, laughing and positioning himself more comfortably in the chair. She raised her hands in victory.

 

" _Yay so!_ " she laughed and crossed her arms in front of her torso, once more.

 

"So what is my gain?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. Marcus had to stop himself from answering her with the first thought, that came to his mind, because it was not appropriate for a situation like that. Thus he decided to set it aside for now -hoping to be able to enjoy more of it later, maybe. Hence, he smiled and whispered - approaching her again.

 

"Whatever you prefer!" She shuddered for a moment and looked him in the eyes, or at least where she assumed his syes to be. He was suprised by the words that followe her stare.

"Take off your glasses" She demanded from him and kept unmoving, watching him intently. Marcus froze momentarily and then smiling he took off his sunglasses, placing them on the table in front of him. Looking her straight in the eyes, he realised she was smiling even brighter than before.

 

"Much better" she said, and before Marcus could reply the waiter had returned to their table with a cappuccino and a black coffee. Marcus watched the woman in front of him the whole time and in an instant he realized that he could describe the features of her face inch by inch. He would have been able to describe all the beauty, that was radiating from her beeing, the captivating sound of her voice and the intoxicating scent he had smelled when she was approaching him. He had no idea what her name was and it made him laugh in the process. The woman looked at him with newfound curiousity.

 

"What's so funny?" she asked, starting to mix her cappuccino with a spoon of sugar. Marcus cleared his throat and giggling he attempted to explain.

 

"I realized just now that I have no idea... What's your name?" he said, taking the cup of coffee and blew on it to cool it down before taking a sip, the woman nodded, smiling.

 

"You're right, well why don't _you_ try to guess?" She suggested, smiling and taking a sip of her cappuccino, subqequently licking her lips in order to prevent a stained foam. Marcus watched her avidly and his eyes swept every inch of her face, trying to make our that mysterious' beauties name

 

"Here, however, it gets really difficult" he said, tilting his head to the side, and looking for signs of her name somewhere. A necklace, a bracelet, anything, but the woman was not wearing jewelry, probably a habit from her job as a doctor and she was staring at him with a raised eyebrow.

 

"Do you surrender?" she asked with outright amusement.

 

"Oh no, absolutely not ... but you will have to give me a clue." he told her, looking amused, sipping his coffee. She lowered her own cup and leaned forward, looking straight into his eyes.

 

"Okay, you want the first letter or the last one?" She said with an intense look. Marcus masked the gasp that was coming out of his mouth, with a sip of hot coffee, whereby he burned his tongue.

 

"Give me the last, it will be more fun this way" he decided to tell her.

 

"Okay, the last letter of my name is ... L" she said, looking amused.

 

"Oh, come on! Seriously?" he looked at her tilting his head yet again.

 

"Oh yes, seriously." she confirmed, laughing at the gestures she had realised beeing only displayed by him, when he was unsure what to do next.

 

"Okay, well this should narrow it down... Probably the first letter is more common, so I am going to assume, that I am quite lucky compared to you in this game." She was giggling, sipping her cappuccino.

 

"Certainly." she said while taking a long sip and humming slightly. Marcus watched her in silence for a moment, taking note of the fact that he had particularly liked that low sound, and then he laid his head back.

 

"Let's see...." he said folding his hands in his lap, looking up at the giant umbrella over their heads.

 

The woman watched him curiously, amused, while Marcus mumbled to himself, suddenly he stood up and said with a grin.

 

"Ariel ... It's Ariel, isn't it? Admit it, you're a siren AH AH I caught you _crafty_ woman." he burst out, pointing at her with his index finger. The woman could not help but to burst out laughing at his actions.

 

"Hahaha you are quite sure of yourself, aren't you? I thought I was able to hide my gills under these outfits, but damn, you're too good." she said, laughing and putting her hand over her mouth, in order not to disturb the other clients. Marcus chuckled.

 

"Right? Haha seriously, Ariel is not your real name, right? No, because otherwise I might have _trouble_ to take you seriously." he said, looking amused. She started shaking her head, chuckling and biting her lip.

 

"No, is not Ariel, but you are close." she admitted with a wink. Marcus widened his eyes in surprise.

 

"Oh, really?" He asked, putting a finger on his chin and frowning. He was concentrated, carefully examining her, when she nodded smiling.

 

"Mh mh, you want another clue?" She asked, sipping her hot drink, Marcus bit his lip and shook his head.

 

"No, I want to guess, I am near you say, huh?" He leaned back against his chair again looking toward the street as if the answer could reveal itself on the road, by miracle. He jumped up.

 

"Okay, please tell me is not Chanel, I could not bear to have spoken to you all this time without knowing that your name is Chanel. Please, tell me you are not named after a handbag label." he pleaded, clasping his hands in prayer, she giggled.

 

"It's not Chanel, relax." she said, raising an eyebrow and laughing to herself, Marcus leaned back in the chair again. A pattern she loved to watch him repeat.

 

"Oh well, this time I approached or moved away from my goal?" He said, taking a sip of his coffee with care.

 

"Let's say, you were closer before." she said, resting her elbows on the table and her chin on her clasped fingers, an amused smile on her face. Marcus nodded carefully and then smiled once more.

 

"Tell me. What do I gain if I guess? " He said, leaning closer to her. She seemed not to react at first, but when he noticed that her shoulders were slightly wincing and that she was blushing, he smiled to himself pleased, so he was not the only one affected by this situation _. Good very good,_ he thought.

 

"I don't know ... what would you prefer?" She wanted to know, lowering her hand to take the cup of cappuccino and continue to sip it slowly. as if she was trying to hide the smile that was flourishing on her lips. Marcus raised an eyebrow, _intrigued._

 

"Well, I don't know. It would depend on what you're willing to give to me." he answered in all honsety, sipping his coffee and watching her intently. She lowered the cup and licked her lips to wipe the foam from her mouth, a gesture that surely had been intended as innocent, but that seemed anything but that. Marcus shuddered slightly.

 

"Well, I try to never limit myself, so you can have anything you wish for." she said, raising an eyebrow and leaning her cheek on her hand, staying with her head tilted slightly and offering him a fun and _mischievous_ expression. Marcus could not help to make a mental note that excited him so much. The way the corner of her mouth lifted upward, illuminating her face with an expression of defiance.

 

"Okay, then let's do this... If I guess your name, you go to dinner with me and try to guess mine." he said holding his breath waiting for an answer. She was silent for a moment, her forehead frowning, as if she was trying to decipher him. Then she let out a laugh and nodded.

 

"All right. That's a deal!" She reached out for him across the table and smiling Marcus squeezed her hand. _This time no shock_ , he thought, and she seemed to observe their hands for a moment before withdrawing hers and placing it under her cheek again.

 

"So? How many attempts do you need?" She asked, smiling and Marcus chuckled.

 

"That depends on you." he said, raising the cup and sipping his coffee waiting for an answer. She looked at him mumbling feebly.

 

"It does? Well let's say that I enjoy the idea to see you try it and now I'm curious to know... Where you'll take me for dinner. Thus I'll give you all the attempts that you need." She said, looking at him with a smile. Marcus chewed his lip and nodded.

 

"Oh well then, _challenge accepted._ "

 

 

* * *

 

They spent the next half an hour discarding name after name. Once the most ridiculous and absurd names were discarded - like Caramel, Coral, Galadriel accompanied by a grim look of her that began with " _Do I look like an elf or something?_ " that made him laugh- they went to Jael. Marcus had to admit that it intrigued him a lot being biblical named but she warned him that she was born in a _secular_ family and almost an _atheist_ one. Thus he started over, taking a mental note about that information. Kendall, Mariel, Opal and Rachyl followed the list. Marcus raised an eyebrow, discarding the last names and smiling he looked at her.

 

"Well, I think your parents have decided to give you a more common name." he said, nodding to himself, rereading the list. She smiled, enyoing their game.

 

"You could say that, yes." she remarked, crossing her arms and letting herself be pampered by the sun's rays, that were caressing her back. Marcus was biting the pen, she had previously pulled from her bag, carefully reading the paper, then he exulted.

 

"AH AH ... I know!" He said, raising his hand in victory, she almost jumped in the chair.

 

"Really? Enlighten me!" she demanded, chuckling.

 

Marcus looked up at her and smiled.

 

"Your name is _Ursula_ , you're not the good and gentle little mermaid, you're the bad _octopus_ , aren't you?" he said holding back a laugh. She looked offended for a moment, but then her face slipped and she burst out laughing.

 

"Well it would have been a great effort, but it's last letter is an A" she corrected him, raising an eyebrow.

 

"Oh boy, you got me." he said, placing the paper on the table and running a hand through his hair. She giggled.

 

"Do you surrender?" she asked, tilting her head. Marcus met her eyes and sighed.

 

"I would not do it ... but I'm all out of ideas." he admitted pouting.

 

"You can always try with _common_ names." she said, leaning her upper body against the table. Marcus smiled.

 

"You're right, sometimes the easiest way is the right one." he said, looking at the sheet in his hand once more.

 

"Carol?" - She shook her head - "Krystal? Meryl? I love that actress" he _muttered_ , when she shook her head, laughing. - "Pearl? Laurel?" - She continued to shake her head amused. - "Sheryl? Rachel?"

 

The woman continued to chuckle as Marcus said a series of names, one more different than the other, and then puffing he leaned back in his chair.

 

"Oh dear, this is more complicated than I ever thought." he said.

 

"Well no one said it would be easy." she told him, raising an eyebrow. "You can always give in and give up the dinner plans." she threatened him, smiling.

 

Marcus looked at her with care, then shook his head.

 

"No way. No, _absolutely not_. I won't addmit defeat that easily. Have a little faith." he said, pointing the pen at her.

 

"Oh, all right. I would never dare to contradict you." she said laughing. Marcus nodded in all seriousness.

 

"Better for you" he said, rereading the list.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The ring of a phone caught their attention and she reached into her purse, pulling it out and answered it. "Clarke?" she asked in an alarmed tone. Marcus looked up at her and she raised a hand in excuse. He gave her a nod and plunged back to read the paper.

 

"Tell me, honey." she said, Marcus could not hear the other half of the conversation, but it made him smile - the way her voice had awakened with a completely different tone.

 

"Yeah... Okay, okay! I'll see you in twenty minutes in front of your room, ok sweetie, yes, _me too_." she said, smiling and putting the phone back in her bag.

 

"Excuse me, my daughter told me that they have almost completed the orientation. I suppose you also will need to re-enter the campus. Are you ready to go?" she told him, indicating the University. Marcus nodded.

 

"Yes, yes of course." he said, smiling, then he got up and when he saw that she was pulling out her wallet from her bag, he put a hand on her shoulder.

 

"My treat, don't bother." She looked at him in suprise.

 

"Oh no no, no way" she said, opening her wallet.

 

"Hey, please, I really want to do this, and then again it's just a coffee." he explained, smiling at her kindly. "I'm not going to be broke over one coffee." she looked at him offended, but then smiled at his good intention.

 

"Okay. Well then, thank you." and before Marcus had entered the bar she called after him: "Oh and _actually_ , it's a coffee and a cappuccino."

 

Marcus entered the bar smiling and pulled out his wallet.


	3. They didn't know

Abby and Marcus had continued to speak for the next twenty minutes in the garden of the campus, without realizing that Clarke was watching them from one of the windows on the top floor of the building. She smiled when Abby had laughed at something that Marcus had said. She had felt a sense of _happiness_ when her mother had placed a hand on the man's shoulder and he had flinched almost imperceptibly. Abby and Marcus had continued to chat and Marcus never guessed her name and they did not realize the loving and protective gaze that Clarke was keeping over them.

 

* * *

 

Abby and Marcus had said _goodbye,_ promising to meet again a little while later in the parking lot, and Marcus would have tried one last time to guess her name and Abby could have accepted his invitation to dinner. But none of them noticed the scowl that Bellamy was drawing them, looking from a window in the lower floors of the building. He had snorted when he had seen Marcus smiling amused at a joke of the woman and folded his arms unsatisfied when he had almost taken her hand in his. Abby and Marcus said goodbye with a _promise_ , without knowing that meanwhile Bellamy had sworn to _destroy_ whatever was growing between them, in one way or another.

 

* * *

 

 

Abby was climbing the floors of the building inside the elevator, mentally reliving the last two hours she had spent chatting with that man without a name, but about whom she would have been able to talk for hours. How his smile was _bright_ in his dark beard. How she had to restrain an impulse to stroke his hair every single moment. How his eyes seemed to look carefully on the details of everything around him, to collect and catalog them accurately. She would have been able to talk for hours about the many feelings she had during those two hours, like the simple _joy_ , the _fun_ and the sensitive feeling of tenderness. That man had made her heart pounding. Abby Griffin was living a magical moment, a _delicate_ moment she thought she would never be able to live in her life again. She brought her hand to her neck and stroke her skin point where normally, until a few months before, hung a long necklace with a beautiful platinum _ring_ ... which was now placed in the drawer of her room, where not even the _memories_ were able to reach.

 

* * *

 

 

_22 years ago_

 

 

_Abby was sitting at her favorite table in the bar in front of the campus. She was engrossed in reading some medical texts that Professor Pike had passed her. She was toying with a lock of her hair, while biting her lower lip. She was so focused, that she did not notice a young man, who had approached her._

 

_"May I sit down?" the boy asked. Abby jumped in the chair and looked up, a finger still braided in her hair. She frowned, trying to focus on the boy in front of her. He was tall, strong arms, a friendly smile, his blondish hair was tousled and his blue eyes were staring at her with kindness, she could not help but smile in return._

 

_"Sure" she said, moving some books so that he had a part of the table free, she gave him a last look before starting to read the book again, but the young man was still smiling and soon he cleared his throat._

 

_"Jake" he said, handing her a large, strong hand, leading Abby to look up at him._

 

_"Excuse me?" she asked perplexed, a confused expression masking her features._

 

_"My name... Jake" he said smiling at her encouragingly. Abby cleared her throat and smiling and a little embarased she shook his hand._

 

_"Oh, yeah sure. Abigail!" she said, smiling gently. Jake nodded to himself._

 

_"Pleased to meet you, Abigail" he said resting his chin on his hand. "What are you studying?"_

 

_Abby smiled and closed the book gently, putting a bookmark between the pages. "No big deal" she said, biting her lip. Jake shook his head._

 

_"Oh come on, no big deal? Here, I can read that it says "History of medicine" and I would say that it is much more than... no big deal" he said, raising an eyebrow and smiling amused, Abby was about to reply when he raised his hand_

 

 _"You know what? Stop studying, I'll invite you to something to drink. What would you like?" he offered softly, smiling at her. Abby tilted her head to one side. She was about to protest, she had to study a lot if she wanted to become a doctor and Professor Richard Pike had placed a lot of confidence in her. But his mocking smile, his bright eyes and his gentle voice_ _intrigued_ her _particularly. Hence she smiled and said:_

 

_"A cappuccino" and began to collect the books, placing them back in her bag._

 

 _"I'll be right back" Jake said, getting up and smiled at her. Abby chewed her bottom lip, blushing..._ Why was she blushing? _She shook her head and closed the bag that was now stuffed with books._

 

_A few minutes later, Jake returned to the table. "A cappuccino, for the lady." he said, handing her a cup. Abby smiled and thanked him with a nod. Jake smiled in return and sat down, clutching his cup of tea._

 

_"Oh, I would not ever have expected_ _this_ _." she stated, pointing at the tea, that was steaming in his hands._

 

_"What?" Jake asked perplexed, a confused look on his face._

 

 _Abby chuckled. "I have never seen a boy at my age drinking hot tea." she said smiling sweetly at him. Jake blushed slightly and Abby could not help but notice how his eyes sparkled when he was blushing, she thought it to be cute ..._ Cute?

 

_"Well, it's a habit, that my grandfather left me." he said, raising his cup and blowing on it to cool the tea's tempereature. Abby nodded._

 

_"Well, it's very beautiful." she said, starting to mix her cappuccino and sipping the foam. Jake nodded._

 

_"Yeah, it is." he said, sipping a bit of his hot drink, Abby looked up at him and biting her lip, she shook her head. Jake frowned._

 

_"What is it?" he asked amused. Abby looked up from her mug._

 

_"Oh nothing, just ... Well. This morning, I did not think I would meet a perfect stranger with whom I would drink a cappuccino instead of studying medicine." she confessed, bringing the spoon to her mouth and savoring the warm and sweet foam. Jake chuckled._

 

_"Well, neither did I. I never expected to walk into a bar to get a bottle of water and see a beautiful young girl alone at a table intent on reading a book on such a beautiful sunny day." he said in one breath, before continuing to sip his tea._

 

_Abby could not help but blush. "Well, reading is good and it is very nice. Sunny days can always change, like it could rain instead." she stated, tilting her head. Jake raised an eyebrow._

 

_"Well, and a book could be boring." he said with an amused grin, Abby nodded._

  

_"Touché." Jake chuckled and smiled._

 

 

_Abby and Jake spent a full hour chatting about this and that. Abby thus discovered that Jake had earned a scholarship and that was studying engineering. Whereby she revealed to him, that she was determined to become a doctor, like her father. After sharing funny stories about their personal lives, Abby looked up at the clock on the wall._

 

 _"Oh dear! I have to go now.” she said pulling_ _her wallet_   _out of the bag, but Jake put a hand on her wrist, to stop her movements._

 

 _"Hey, I said that I was_ inviting _you." he reminded her with a smile. Abby blushed and nodded._

 

_"Of course. You're right. Thank you." she said, smiling and getting up. Jake stopped her, grabbing her wrist again._

 

_"Hey, Abigail." he said. She turned on her heels._

 

_"Yes?" she asked curiously._

 

_"Can I ... Can I ask you you're phone number?" he wanted to know, stammering slightly. Abby could not help but feel softened by his delicate approach._

 

_"Sure." she said, pulling a pen out of her bag and before Jake could say anything, she took his hand in hers and quickly wrote her number on his skin. "Well, call me when you want." she said smiling and walked out the door, before he could say anything else._

 

* * *

 

_Today._

 

 

Clarke was hugging her mother tight.

 

"I recommend you call me when you get home!" she said in a whisper. Abby smiled.

 

"Naturally! And you, please... Go to bed early and try to have _fun_ while I am away." she said, kissing her forehead. Clarke nodded.

 

"Promise." She raised her head looking into her eyes. _"I Love You"_ she told her quietly.

 

"Me too, honey." her mother replied, hugging her even tighter and printing one last kiss through her blond hair.

 

Abby let herself be enveloped by the delicate scent that Clarke was wearing, she tried to memorize every curve of her body as she held her in a tight embrace and tried to retain as long as possible the heat of her body in her protective arms. Clarke instead gripped the material of her black silk shirt and was silently trying to memorize every beat of her heart, that heart that was pounding so hard for her and for a moment she felt the need to cry at the memory of how _badly_ she had _broken_ it once. Then she squeezed her without leaving her space to escape. Abby smiled again and let herself being lulled by that moment. But her mind traveled back in time too and she felt catapulted to another place, in another time of her life, a moment that she would remember forever, even if she tried _everything_ to forget it.

 

* * *

 

 

 

_2 years ago_

 

_"Abby, honey, what happened?" Callie's voice rang out from the other end of the phone, shaking._

 

 _"Callie, oh thank god, please tell me that Clarke is with you, please!" Abby was stammering and gasping in panic. Callie cleared her sleepy voice_.

 

_"What? No sweetheart, it's just me over here. But why? Did something happened to Clarke?" she asked, immediately worried._

 

_"Oh, I don't know! Oh Callie, she's vansihed!" Abby said, beginning to cry softly._

 

_"I am on my way, where are you? Tell me where you are. I'll be with you in a minute!" Callie stated in a firm voice. Abby swallowed some hot tears, grateful for her friends offer, and in a sigh she said:_

 

_"I'm home ... at home" and then she just heard the distant echo of Callie's voice saying:_

 

_"Okay sweetie. Okay, I'm coming over. You stay calm! Breathe deeply. Tell me what happened, tell me quietly what happened... Abby? Abby!" But Abby was no longer listening, she had dropped the phone on the floor and she was leaning on the wall behind her, eyes half closed. She was losing the ability to control her senses and the only thing she could say, between a sighs was_

 

_"... Clarke...Clarke...Clarke ..."_

 

 

_After about ten minutes, Callie was opening the door, running inside while calling out for Abby. When the sound of running water reached her ears, she paused and went for the bathroom... and there she found her friend, the face dipped into the sink while she bathed her face with cold water. She approached her, carefully beginning to strike her hair._

 

_"Abby ..." she said in a whisper. But Abby kept silent. She closed the taps, took the towel that stuck beside the sink and wiped her face, then turned toward her, her eyes red and swollen with tears, a rippled mouth, her brow furrowed. She dropped the towel and dived into her arms._

 

_"Oh, Callie, Clarke has disappeared." she said, starting to cry into the fabric of her blouse._

 

_"Oh Abby, sweety, ssshhh.... It's all right, you'll be all right, honey!" She said, stroking her hair. Abby pulled away and snapped, looking at her with wide eyes, with long, hot tears that were rolling down her burning cheeks._

 

_"We have to call the police, the army, whoever, we have to find her! Maybe she is hurt, she could be in danger, she doesn't answer her phone. I don't know where she is, it's dark outside, we need to find her and-" Callie shushed her putting a finger to her lips and taking her face in her hands._

 

_"Abby, honey, breathe! We do local mind, okay?" she said, trying to reassure her. Abby nodded, tears still streaming down her face._

 

_"When was the last time you saw her?" she asked, stroking her hair. Abby sighed and began to think about it, letting her eyes dart to every corner of the room._

 

_"This morning! I saw her this morning ... Oh God! I didn't see my daughter since this morning, Callie." she said in a whisper, putting her hand over her mouth to hide a sob. Callie shushed her and held her tightly in her arms, lovingly cradling her for a few minutes, while Abby cried until there were no tears left._

 

 _After a few minutes, Callie held her an armlength away and squeezed her shoulders. "Let's go, honey. Let's figure out where she went okay?" she stated, looking straight at her. Abby nodded weakly, her face red, swollen and watery eyes. She retorted nothing and walked in the living room, accompanied by her friend. She sat down on the couch and observed the void at her feet. Callie moved_ _silently_ _toward the kitchen and put some water on the stove_ _to boil_ _. Subqequently she pulled the phone out from her pocket and began to dial some numbers._

 

 

 _Abby could not hear the words of Callie_ _distinctly_ _\- she only sensed her voice, muffled by the closed door. She let herself fall against the back of the sofa and breathed trying to calm down. But at that moment her heart was beating slow, almost too slow, the room around her seemed to have started to swing slowly as cradled by a gravitational force. Abby felt heavy, felt her arms and legs like they were made of stone. Her head throbbed softly and she had her ears plugged. She could feel the skin pulling and burning where she had rubbed her hands to wipe the tears away and felt her eyes burn with the effort of having cried so much. Her breathing was heavy and calm. At that moment, she realized that the anxiety and concern for the disappearance of Clarke had been replaced by a sense of emptiness and desolation, a sense of sheer terror that left her devoid of feelings, devoid of reactions of any kind. She waited in silence on that couch for a few minutes, hands clasped in her lap, staring at her feet on the floor, the room was wrapped in a heavy halo of sadness and utter desolation._

 

 _"All right, keep me informed if you get news. Thanks, David." Callie said, ending the conversation on the phone and removing the kettle from the stove. She took two clean cups from the sink and filled them with hot water and a few leaves of tea. She waited in silence, leaning against the kitchen counter, her head bowed, her arms crossed. She breathed, trying to make sense of this absurd situation. Clarke was gone. She had not yet realized what it meant. She could have left on her own accord. She could have been forced by someone... No!... Callie immediately dismissed this possibility, Abby was in the house and she would definitely have noticed the presence of someone else, she would have heard noises. And thinking about the worst case scenario, would not help anyone, right now. Thus Callie set that idea_ _aside_ _and began to assess the situation. After all that had happened in the last year she was not surprised to find out that Clarke had decided to run away from home. Many teenagers decided to run away for less trivial reasons than those, that Clarke had to have face this year. She felt helpless for a moment. How could she console her best friend at a time like this and blame her daughter for having decided to run away after all that had happened? She cleared her throat and picked up the two cups of hot tea. She left the kitchen and returned to Abby._

 

 _She found her sitting quietly on the couch. She was staring into space, and Callie immediately felt a pang at that sight. Abby Griffin, one of the strongest women she had ever known, was helpless and fragile, sitting on a couch contemplating the idea that her daughter might have disappeared for good. Callie had to fight back some tears. She cleared her throat to make her presence known, but Abby did not seem to oblige. Therefore, she approached her friend, sat down beside her and handed her a cup of hot tea. But Abby did not move, so she decided to set it down on the table in front of them and sat more comfortably on the couch beside her_.

 

_"Hey," she whispered, softly trying to get her attention. Abby kept unmoving, unreachable for her words or gestures. "Abby? Honey? Do you want to drink some tea?" She asked in a gentle voice. Abby looked up toward the cup resting on the coffee table, as if a light bulb had been turned in her head and then said hoarsely:_

 

 _"You have used Jake's tea?" She whispered, Callie bit her tongue and mentally slapped herself._ How could she have done such a stupid thing? How could she have taken Jake's tea and use it as hot beverage to calm his widow on the day that their daughter had disappeared? _Callie leaned hastily toward her - the cup on the table forgotten - and tried to reassure her, lying:_

 

_"No! Certainly no, sweetheart. I used the other tea you had in the pantry." she reasured her, stroking her arm. Abby finally looked toward her._

 

_"Do not lie to me, Callie. I would recognize the smell of Jake's tea everywhere." she retorted in a firm tone, her voice cracked with emotions. Callie swallowed hard and the blush on her cheeks defied her._

 

_"Honey ... I'm sorry. I did not think about it." she said, stammering, beginning to feel uncomfortable under the pressure of her accusatory gaze. Abby did not say another word and turned her gaze toward the wall across the room._

 

_"Throw it away." she demanded in a whisper. Callie looked up at her in outright disbelieve._

 

_"Excuse me?" she asked in an uncertain whisper. Abby turned her head back to her, without moving her torso._

 

_"I said ... THROW THAT DAMN TEA AWAY!" she yelled with all the strength she had left in her body and suddenly jumped up, walking to Clarke's room and closing the door behind her with force. Callie sighed and rubbed her temples. She stood up and took the two cups back to the kitchen, where she spilled all the tea into the sink, turning on the water to rinse the mugs. Then sighing, headed for Clarke's room._

 

_"Ab?" Callie said, feebly knocking on the door. The door creaked open, revealing a figure curled up under the covers of the sunset colored sheets. "Ab?" Callie tried again, hoping to get an answer. She looked so small and fragile, and Callie felt helpless. She approached the bed and sat down near her feet, stroking her side through the blanket. After a few minutes of silence, a disguised voice rose in the room._

 

_"I failed," it said in a whisper._

 

_"No darling ..." Callie tried to asure her, but Abby didn't pay attention to her and continued speaking._

 

_"I failed, trust me. I'm her mother. It is my responsibility to protect her from all sorts of pain and suffering ... but she is only sixteen, and she has suffered more than any human being ever should. It's not fair." she mumbled, moving the blankets and giving Callie the opportunity to see a few strands of brown hair emerge from the sheets. She was silent, leaving her friend the time to blow off steam._

 

_"I have not been able to keep the promise I made her, you know?" she said in a voice choked with emotions._

 

_"What promise?" Callie asked in a whisper._

 

_"I promised her, that after the Jake's death, I would never abandoned her and that no one else would ever abandoned her again either. I promised her that nothing bad would ever happen to her and that I would always protected her, and I failed miserably." she finally said sniffing audible. Callie sighed and squeezed her shoulder gently._

 

_"It was not your fault, Abby. These are futile promises. You don't have control of everything, you know." she revealed in a calm voice, but Abby shook her head._

 

_"No, no, no, no! I killed her father and I let her fall in love with a boy that was taken away from her. How can you say that it was not my fault?" She cried out, tears beginning to stream down her face yet again. Callie was lost for words for a second and cautiously continued her speech._

 

_"You haven't killed Jake." she said, looking at her intently, hoping she would turn and look her in the eyes, realising how sincere she meant those words. But Abby continued to stare at an indefinite point in front of her, in the dimlit room._

 

_"Yes, I have. It was me and you know it." she finally stated, completely covering herself with the blankets, indulging a liberating cry that rang through the house. Callie sighed disconsolately and dropped to her side, holding her gently through the blankets, trying to make her feel protected, knowing that she didn't have the power to soothe that pain, that remorse and the guilt that was eating her friend alive from inside..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy is not a negative character, he is afraid of loosing his "father" trust me, he is not a bad character!
> 
> Tell me what you think about everything, i really need reviews because i need to improve myself!


	4. Nightblood Surprise and Grounders Wine

> Dear Clarke
> 
>  
> 
> _My sweet little Clarke._
> 
>  
> 
> I know that this is not the best way to tell you what you don't want to hear, but unfortunately I don't know how to reach you, otherwise.
> 
>  
> 
> You're slipping away. I need to know you're okay, honey. I know you're sad and I understand it, I'm sad too. But we have to stay strong -together- my sweet love. We have to fight this _demon,_ that is taking hold of our lives. We must not let him _win_!
> 
>  
> 
> Dad is _gone_ , but that doesn't mean that his love for you, for us, has left us. Because when people leave the world of the living, their memories remain, their stories, the things they have taught us and how they loved us. His love for you, Clarke, was immeasurable, trust me, he _loved_ you more than he ever loved anyone before.
> 
>  
> 
> You have to find the strength, sweetheart. We have to stick _together_. I can't let you live this moment alone, I can not let you endure this suffering in _silence_. Let me in, Clarke. Let me help carrying your pain on my shoulders. Let me help you get better.
> 
>  
> 
> _Let me in, Clarke._
> 
>  
> 
> I want to be closer to you. I want to be able to love you as much you deserve. I want you to feel protected, because even if Dad is gone, I am still here, you and I are still here and we need to go on living, because Dad would have wanted us to.
> 
>  
> 
> _Believe_ me, honey, I know it's hard to accept, but life is like that, you never know what may happen or who you may lose. You don't know who will accompany you on this journey and who will leave you before their time has come.
> 
>  
> 
> Precisely for this reason, you can't lock yourself into a corner of your heart, you have to go out and live with me, we will face this journey together. I will not leave you alone. I promise, we can get through this together, because you are strong Clarke. You are my daugther. People leave and we get throught it, because they leave their love behind. They leave us behind to remember them. Be strong, my love. We can get through this together. I promise, I will not let anyone take away that precious memory of your father, because it is everything we've got.
> 
>  
> 
> I _promise_ that I will take care of you and I will protect you with my whole being. _Let me in Clarke_ , I just want to _help_ , I want you to feel loved.
> 
>  
> 
> _Don't shut me out._
> 
>  
> 
> _I Love You._
> 
>  
> 
> _Mom_.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Abby was walking to the parking lot, her head was somewhere peaceful, she was thinking about everything and nothing at the same time.

 

So she didn't notice the shadow approaching her from behind, until his hand was on her shoulder.

 

Abby was startled and spun around, her eyes wide with shock, her face a mask of scare... but then she met his warm, deep brown eyes and he was smiling.

 

“You should be more careful, _Abigail_.”

 

She wasn't paying full attention to his _words_ , she was looking into his eyes and she was melting a little under his soft touch. But then he withdraw his hand and was looking at her with a smirk. She shook her head and then tilted it to the side, she smiled back at him.

 

“How so?” she asked. He laughed a little.

 

“I can't tell you –he leaned forward– it's a _secret._ ” he told her in a whisper. Abby shivered, but if he had noticed, he didn't say.

 

“So... Shall we get going?” He was gesturing to his left. Abby frowned.

 

“Excuse me?” She was a slightly confused, her mouth was drier than usual and her head was spinning a little.

 

“We had a deal remember? I would guess your name and you would be willing to come to dinner with me... and maybe you would guess my name in return.” He was smiling fondly. She laughed.

 

“Oh, right... Yes, I remember.” She smiled, his smile was a sight for sore eyes. She was affected by him and she didn't even know his name. That was _ridiculous_! But she was attracted to this stranger in a way that made her want to know everything about him and his life, like he was the _moon_ and she was the _sea_ , always growing and dwindling according to his will.

 

He handed her his arm and she entwined her fingers around his upper arm. He was strong and stable and she suddenly felt _safe_. That was so ridiculous, but she was thrilled by it.

 

They walked over to his car - a black sedan. He opened the door for her and she entered the car and immediately felt comfortable. He turned the car and they slowly got out of the parking lot.

 

 

He was smiling, driving in silence. Abby was watching him with a curious look on her face.

 

“So... where are you taking me?” she asked with a smile in her voice. He turned toward her for a moment with a light in his eyes.

 

“It's a surprise” he told her, his hands securely placed around the wheel, his eyes on the road again. Abby leaned back on the headrest, she was smiling and she felt suddenly a warm sensation growing in her heart. She was happy, with this stranger beside her, in his car, driving to some mysterious place, yet she was as happy as she hadn't felt for so many years.

 

 _Life is beautiful,_ she thought.

 

And at that moment she really _believed_ it.

 

* * *

* * *

 

They traveled for a little longer in a quiet but comfortable silence. Abigail had closed her eyes, when exactly she wasn't able to recall, but now she was almost asleep. Marcus turned and looked at her, her eyes were closed, her features relaxed, her lips seemed soft, her skin was almost shining under the nightly city's lights and Marcus almost crashed into the car, which pulled to a stop right in front of him at a red light. She was so peaceful and beautiful and he couldn't help himself to think about her sleeping beside him, in his bed, on his couch, in his car, night after night, day after day. He shook his head.

 

_You have known her for one day at most and yet you are already thinking about these stupid romantic things? You are ridiculous, Marcus Kane!_

 

He laughed at himself and swallowed a little. Abigail was still sound sleeping and everything felt so right, so good.

 

* * *

* * *

  

When the car stopped Abby opened her eyes as if by instinct. She looked around for a moment and then she saw him, he was on the twilight side beside her, his black eyes reflected the light of the street lamps, the beard hid his features but his smile was visible and Abby could not help but smile at him in return. She cleared her throat and shook her head, chuckling.

 

"Oh sorry, I must have fallen asleep, I am a little tired." she said, brushing her hair behind her ears.

 

"No problem, we are here now." He smiled. Abby nodded.

 

"Good, good..." she acknowledged, looking out of the windshield in search of the sign of a restaurant, something ... but she couldn't see _anything_ , only a short row of street lights and the darkness that surrounded whatever, she frowned and turned back to him.

 

"Where _exactly_ are we?" She asked in a whisper. He chuckled.

 

"Get out of the car and you'll see."

 

To be honest, Abby felt momentarily _disorientated_ , at the end she was in a car with a stranger, in the middle of nowhere, at night. For a moment, she was alarmed, her eyes began to search eagerly for a sign  in the dark, of something that she would recognize to understand where they were ... but she couldn't see anyhing besides the shadows.

 

* * *

* * *

 

Marcus put his hand on her shoulder, because Abigail looked worried. But when his hand touched her shoulder she winced, turned around with frightened eyes, her mouth was open but she was not saying anything.

 

 _You stupid idiot, you scared her to death ..._ and then he tried to figure out what could have frightened her so much, when he followe her gaze and realized his mistake.

 

_You brought her to a clearing in the darkness of the night, you're a stranger who did not even give her his name yet... Of course, she'll be scared to death. She is probably plotting to knock you unconcious and run away, screaming for help, right now. You stupid idiot!_

 

These thoughts -of course- weren't any help at all. Marcus ran a hand through his hair and sighed audible.

 

"Abigail... I am sorry. You don't have to be afraid. I'll show you that there's nothing to worry about." he assured her, smiling. She tried to nod and managed to smile at him in return.

 

He embarked from the car and after a moment she followed him, clutching her arms around her chest, a light breeze had started to blow gently, thus it was not cold, but chilly.

 

 _She's afraid,_ concluded the voice inside his head.

 

Marcus walked over to one of the street lamps, slowly took out the phone from his pocket and dialed. He waited a few seconds, observing Abigail, who meanwhile was looking around with a confused look. He smiled to himself, thinking about the fact that in some way that scene was almost tender, a woman of her age, a doctor with a character that at first glance appeared so composed and brave ... she was shaking like a leaf, in the middle of nowhere with the look of someone who is lost and does not know how to get home. But that worried expression was calling to his need for protection and tenderness, as if she was a lost puppy, who had to be protected at all costs, even though he knew that at that moment the person that was _troubling_ her was him. His thoughts were swept away when a voice answered his call.

 

“Yes?”

 

"Indra. It's me... Please turn on the lights." he said slowly. Abigail turned to him with a confused expression, she tilted her head to the side. Marcus pointed to a spot high above their heads and then a _hundred_ tiny lights came alive in the darkness around them.

 

* * *

* * *

 

Abby realized then where they were. They were standing under a huge network of _golden lights_ , which were starting to warm up the darkness with their feeble but brilliant light and Abby let out an " _Oh_ " with wonder as her eyes began to travel from one side to the other of the show of lights over their heads. They seemed to be in a private heaven with a multitude of stars that had come to life just for them, only for that night. Abby could not help but think.

 

_This is overly romantic._

 

She looked over at him. He was smiling, leaning against the lamppost with one shoulder, had the phone to his ear and his black eyes were intent on watching her with _amazement._

 

"Thanks Indra, we'll be with you in a moment" Then he hung up. "You like it?" He asked, pointing to the show over their heads. Abby smiled.

 

"Yes, very much" she whispered, before starting to observe the lights again. He came up to her and pointed at a dark spot.

 

"It is not over yet. Come with me." he invited her in a low voice, almost _whispering_. Abby looked at him momentarily lost in the sound of his voice, nodded speechless and followed him.

 

“I know this seems overly romantic, but it's always like this here... This is why I love this place.” he said, turning towards her with a warm smile. Abby looked up to him, she felt safe again.

 

 _Damn this man and his smile_ , she thought.

 

They walked only a few inches until Abby's eyes were adapted to the darkness and she saw a large curtain of dark red cloth in front of her. He smiled and pulled it back and Abby was suddenly _speechless_.

 

Expanding, in front of her, was an enormous " _camp_ " filled with candles and dim, warm lights. It was a camp, consisting of a few wooden beams and long white curtains and plants that bordered it, on the ground were some wooden tables positioned, on each table laid some _flowers_ that smelt of a sweet fragrance and some more _candles_ , cream, orange, white, red, all warm and calming colors. A bunch people were sitting, eating and chatting, quietly smiling. Abby could not help but smile, it was such a beautiful place full of tranquility and serenity, a place hidden in the middle of nowhere and yet so full of... _everything_.

 

* * *

* * *

 

Marcus was stunned by the vision that presented itself in front of his eyes. Abigail looked around with a surprised expression, as if she was looking at the place through the eyes of a curious little _girl_. She was smiling and her eyes were shining, she was catching every detail, from the plants that grew free next to the tables to the long white curtains that fluttered gently in the breeze. Marcus felt his heart beat faster and had to supress the desire to take her hand and hold it, probably if at that moment Indra hadn't reached them, he _would have kissed_ her, just to see her reaction.

 

"Hey _stranger_ " she said with her warm, deep voice. Marcus turned to his friend and smiled warmly.

 

* * *

* * *

 

Abby turned, snapping, intrigued by the voice. A tall and smiling woman had approached them. Black eyes, dark skin, a tattoo of green color around the left eye. Abby smiled watching the two friends hug, though a strange feeling grew in her stomach, but she shook her head and approached them.

 

"I see you brought a _friend_ " she remarked, raising an eyebrow.

 

"Yes, yes indeed! Indra, may I introduce to you... _Abigail_ " he said looking at her with a unfamiliar look... _Is that admiration?_

 

" _Abby_ , you can call me Abby" she corrected him, smiling and holding out her hand.

 

"Indra! It is a real pleasure. I have never seen M ... I've never seen _him_ come here with someone." she said, exchanging a glance with him. Abby raised an eyebrow and pretended that there was nothing wrong with her not speaking his name.

 

"Well, I am honored." she finally said, looking at him. He turned around and smiled at her.

 

"You'll see, you'll like it!" He said placing a hand on her lower back to make her follow Indra, who by then was moving among the tables. Abby _shivered_ at the contact and with muffled breath replied simply:

 

"I'm sure" and smiling followed Indra. However, without his hand losing contact with the fabric of her shirt.

 

"I have reserved your **usual** table." Indra **told him,** indicating a hidden corner.

 

"Thank you, as always, my friend." he retorted, smiling. The two exchanged a gesture that Abby had trouble understanding. They took hold of each others elbows and intersected their forearms like a handshake... Even if it was not defined as such. She raised an eyebrow and mentally noted to ask for an explanation later.

 

* * *

* * *

 

Marcus dismissed Indra and turned his attention back to Abigail, smiled and then pulled the chair to offer her the seat. She smiled gently like she had done that day at the bar, but this time she did not blush. She sat with her usual grace and bit her lip. Marcus sat down opposite her and watched her in silence across the table, between them was a beautiful white lily and a pair of cream-colored candles. Abigail looked up at him and smiled.

 

"This place is magical... How is it, that I did not know anything about it?" she wanted to know.

 

"This place... You can _find_ it only if you're not _looking_ for it." he explained, raising an eyebrow. Abigail frowned.

 

"Are you telling me they do not have their account on _Tripadvisor_?" She said, chuckling. Marcus remained impassive for a moment and then burst into laughter.

 

"Probably... They should have won some awards, too." he said, chuckling. Abigail couldn't help but chuckle too, leaning her head on her hand, the elbow on the table.

 

"You surprise me. I would never have expected you to be the type for such _mysterious_ places, special and characteristic. I _like_ it." she said with a gentle tone. Marcus nodded.

 

"Me, too." he remarked, a smile audible in his voice. Abigail blushed.

 

 _And there is that blush again, that I like so much,_ he thought to himself, observing her in silence.

 

Abigail was smiling, her eyes so dark and deep, her skin seems so creamy in that warm light and Marcus was practically _melting_ on his seat. Then a girl approached them.

 

“Hi!” she said smiling, big green eyes, long brown hair, some flowers were intertwined in her locks, she was a beautiful vision. “I am _Lexa_ and I will be your waitress for this evening.” she said putting two menus on the table.

 

Abigail smiled. “Hi Lexa, I am Abby.” she introduced herself, opening the menu. She glanced at him behind it. Marcus smiled.

 

“Yes and I am Indra's _friend_ ” He caught her, biting her lower lip to supress a smile at that statement, out of the corner of his eye.

 

Lexa nodded “Yes, I know. It's a pleasure. I will give you some time to think about what you want to order, when you are ready just ring the _bell_.” she said gesturing to a little, bronze metal bell that was beside their table.

 

“Oh, how adorable.” said Abigail, touching it with her fingertips. Marcus nodded and Lexa walked away, smiling.

 

“So are you trying to cheat?” Marcus said opening his menu. Abigail looked at him raising an eyebrow.

 

“Pardon me?” she said, smiling innocently.

 

“I mean... You were trying to make me say my name to the girl... This is called cheating, Abigail” Marcus said chuckling. Abigail sighed.

 

“Well, I was just being nice, nothing more.” she said, hiding her face behind the menu. Marcus laughed.

 

“Yes, of course, you were.” Abigail glared at him and then hid her face in the menu again.

 

“So, which dish would you recommend?” she asked, looking at him again.

 

Marcus thought about it for a second and then smiled. “I think that the “ ** _Conclave Salad_** ” is very good.” he said, nodding to himself. Abigail searched for it on her menu.

 

“Well, yes, it sounds _yummy_... Is it your favorite?” she asked him.

 

Marcus shook his head. “Nope, my favorite is the “ ** _Nightblood Surprise_** ”.“ he said, smiling fondly. Abigail frowned.

 

“That's sounds... _weird_....” she said, reading the food's list. Marcus chuckled.

 

“It's always surprising and very good. Trust me, if you want something amazing you have to choose this.” he said, pointing on his card.

 

“Yes? Well... I'll _trust_ you...again.” she said, putting her menu down. Marcus nodded.

 

“Good call” he said, smiling at her. She sighed.

 

“I hope so... What do we take to drink?” she asked, resting her arms on the table. Marcus leaned forward, mimicing her gesture.

 

“You have to try the **_Grounder's Wine._** It _'_ s amazing.” he suggested, nodding. Abigail displayed a doubtful expression.

 

“Everything is always _amazing_ for you... How can you explain this?” she asked, amusement in her voice.

 

“Well...because this place _is_ amazing _._ ” he said, gesturing to the camp. Abigail smiled.

 

“Yes... You are probably right. This is very... beautiful.” she said, looking around. Marcus sighed.

 

“Yes it is, isn't it?” he said in a whisper and Abigail turned around, locking her eyes with his. Marcus felt a sudden burst of warmth creeping up his neck, when she leaned forward. He was thinking about how good she smelled and how soft her lips seemed, and how deep and bright her eyes were, when she pulled the rope of the bell and it rang softly. Abigail smiled and her face was even closer than before.

 

“Ring the bell when you are ready.” she repeated their waitress in a low, deep voice.

 

 _Oh, I am so ready,_ he thought. His mouth was dry, his heart's beating searching for hers, but she was leaning back on her chair, smiling. Seconds later, Lexa was approaching them again.

 

“You have decided?” she remarked, smiling. Marcus was still watching her speechless. Abigail smiled and turned to the girl.

 

“Yes, two **Nigthblood Surprises** and **Grounders Wine** for two.” she ordered, smiling at her. Lexa nodded and took away the two menus, walking away again. Abigail turned to him, smiling.

 

“So.... Wanna _play_?”

 

* * *

* * *

 

“John? Carl? Lucas? Nicholas?” Abigail was giggling.

 

“Seriously, Abigail? Be more... _imaginative_.” Marcus said, amused. She glared at him raising an eyebrow.

 

“Sorry, but I am not going to ask you if your name is something like... _Nemo_ or other Disney Character's stupid names” she said suppressing a laugh. Marcus chuckled.

 

“Yes well, probably... You have to be more... _intuitive_ , because you are running out of time.” he said pointing at an imaginary wristwatch.

 

“Oh really? And who says so?” she asked him, crossing her arms. Marcus nodded, indicating himself.

 

“You are right... Well let’s say that I can’t wait anymore to hear you _calling_ me by my name.” he offered her as an explanaition, leaning on the table. Abigail bit her lower lip.

 

“Oh really? And why? If I may ask?” she mocked him, leaning forward in return.

 

“Mh well...- he smirked a little – I just like your _voice_ a lot.” Marcus said, leaning his chin into his right hand. Abigail was speechless for a moment, nodding to herself, mouth half opened and she smiled.

 

“Oh really? That's a _curious_ coincidence because – she lowered her voice – I _like_ your voice too” Marcus swallowed hard and grinned.

 

“Ok, so I think I can give you a _clue._ ” he said, stroking his beard with his fingers. Abigail was captivaded by his hand's movements for a second.

 

“I think so...yes” she said, smiling fondly.

 

“Ok, you want the first letter or the last?” he said, chuckling. Abigail lowered her head for a moment, blushing and then she looked up again.

 

“Give me the first” Marcus nodded.

 

“It's the... _M_ ” She titled her head a little bit.

 

“Oh ok, easy right?” she giggled and Marcus nodded.

 

“Yes, of course it's _easy_.” They laughed and then Abigail was rolling her eyes, watching the camp, focusing on nothing in particular. Marcus leaned back in his chair, waiting.

 

“Ok, well...” She bit her lower lip. “What about..Malcolm?" - He shook his head – "No? Ok... and Matthew?" - He shook his head again, smiling – "Max? Michael? Monroe?" - He shook his head three times – "Ok and what about...Maurice? You like Maurice?" - He laughed and shook his head – "Oh great because I hate it" – They laughed together – "Ok what about...Mason?" - He raised an eyebrow “ _Do i look like a Mason?_ ” He asked chuckling – "No...you don't” Abigail was now looking deep into his eyes, searching for an answer. He smiled.

 

“Try your _favorite_ male name...with the M, maybe it's the right one.” he said amused. Abigail nodded, accepting the challenge.

 

“Yes, I can do this... Ok, so your name is _Marmaduke_?” she wanted to know, giggling. Marcus frowned.

 

“Marmaduke? Seriously? Your favorite male name that starts with the M is...Marmaduke?” he shook his head in disbelief. Abigail nodded and then laughed.

 

“No. Ok, it's not Marmaduke... Oh _gosh_ , no!” she was laughing, happy even and Marcus couldn't help but smile.

 

“Ok, so which one is your favorite? For _real_ this time” He glared at her and Abigail raised her hand in surrender.

 

“Ok, ok, for real! My favorite is _Marcus_.” she admitted, smiling innocently. Marcus was taken by suprise.

 

“For real?” he asked her, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Yes, of course.” she said, smiling. This time her lips were trembling a little. Marcus leaned on the table.

 

“So your favorite male name is Marcus? And _coincidentally_...my name is Marcus.” he said smiling. Abigail opened her mouth in surprise.

 

“Are you kidding me?” she asked.

 

“No... I am serious.” Marcus leaned back in his chair, with a doubtful look.

 

“What?” she asked him.

 

“I don't trust you woman...you _cheated._ ” he said, pointing his index finger to her. She raised an eyebrow.

 

“Wha... Oh how _dare_ you? I am honest. It's my favorite!” she said, smiling and biting her lip. Marcus nodded slowly.

 

“If you say so...” He was going to say something else, but Lexa was walking towards them with two large plates in her hands.

 

“ **Nightblood Surprise** for two” she was smiling.

 

“Oh _finally_!” Abigail said, rubbing her hands with a big smile on her face. Marcus chuckled.

 

“Thank you, Lexa” he said, taking in the odour of his food.

 

“You're welcome, and here we have the **Grounders Wine** ” Lexa offered, resting an uncommonly shaped bottle on the table. “ _Bon apetite_.” she said, walking away.

 

Marcus was going to say something, but then Abigail was moaning and he raised an eyebrow, looking at her with his mouth half open, she looked up to him.

 

“What?” she asked, her fork midair. Marcus blinked.

 

“What was _that_?” he asked her, half laughing and half stammering. She frowned.

 

“What was what?” she asked him, lowering her fork back on the plate. Marcus shook his head, deciding to drop the subject.

 

“Nothing... Is it good?” he asked her, focusing on his food. She raised an eyebrow and then smiled.

 

“Yes, it seems so.” she laughed and then tasted it. Her eyes were closed, her mouth was savoring every part of the food. It was like _creamy_ meat with a strange red sauce, a little _spicy_. It was like butter on her tongue and she was _humming_ , swallowing her first bite. Marcus was smiling, watching her.

 

“Oh gosh, this is _amazing_ ” she said, filling her mouth again. The meat was so tender and almost sweet, the spicy sauce was burning a little on the tip of her tongue but it was delicious and Abby was nodding approvingly at herself.

 

“Wow, you were starving or what?” he asked her laughing and taking his first bite. He smiled. “Oh is good, you are right.”

 

Abby was smiling. “No, _you_ were right, this thing is amazing. What is it?” she asked gesturing to her plate. Marcus shook his head.

 

“I have no idea. It's a _surprise,_ so is always different and always tasty. Damn this is good.” he said, eating bite after bite. Abby laughed.

 

“Yes, you can say it for sure. I love this! It's my new favorite dish.” she said laughing, pouring wine in her glass. “Want some?” she asked, offering him the bottle.

 

“Yes, please.” he aswered, smiling. She poured him the wine.

 

It was deep red colored, almost bordeaux, it smelled like grape and red fruits, she took a sip and her eyes widened in surprise.

 

“Ok wow, this is _amazing._ ” she said, swallowing the rest in one gulp. It was sweet and sour at the same time, the alcohol burned her throat a little, but it was fresh. It's taste was like grape and red berries with a little bit of something else, she was in love with it.

 

“Ok can I eat this _forever_?” she said, laughing. Marcus looked up at her, mouth full of meat, he swallowed his bite and nodded.

 

“Oh, if you really like it that much, we can come back here _again_.” he said. Then he was silent. She raised her head and smiled.

 

“I'd _love_ to” she said, pouring another little bit of wine in her glass.

 

“ _Good to hear that.._.” he whispered, eating another bite of meat. She nodded.

 

“So...tell me, _Marcus"_ – he looked into her eyes and smiled at the sound of his name sliping from her tongue – "How _did_ you come around this place?” she asked him, gesturing to the camp.

 

“Well it's a... _long_ story" – she nodded – "I will tell you, someday, probably, but for now I can say that it was a _lucky_ coincidence.” he said, smiling. Abby raised an eyebrow.

 

“Nice! Well I am happy that you guessed my name, I love this place.” she said, smiling fondly. Marcus kept her eyes on her and nodded.

 

“Yes, me too. And what about you? I want to know something more about your story, tell me.” he said, taking a sip of his own wine. Abigail was silent for a moment.

 

“Ok, what do you want to know?” she asked, eating a bite of the spicy meat.

 

“I don't know..."- _everything_ , he thought – "for example...your family? Where is your _husband_?” he asked her smiling. Abby lowered her head.

 

“Actually...my husband is _dead._ ” she admitted, lowering her voice and sipping a little bit of wine smiling shily. Marcus looked at her.

 

“Oh, I am so sorry Abigail.” he said, swallowing another bit. She shook her head.

 

“Don't be, it was... a _long_ time ago” she said, nodding at herself and played with her food. Marcus reached for her hand and squeezed it. Abby raised her head, watching him, her hand was a little shaky.

 

“Are you sure?” he asked her, with gentle eyes. Abby felt like she was melting under his soft touch.

 

“Yes... Yes I am.” she said, smiling and squeezed his hand in return. Marcus smiled upon her touch.

 

“Ok, we can talk about something else.” he offered, withdrawing his hand. Abby immediately longed for him to touch her again.

 

“No, no it's fine. We can talk about him. I - I want to talk about him... with _you._ ” she admitted, her heart was pounding. She didn't know why but she desperately wanted to talk to him about her late husband. It was as if he was an old friend, as if they had known each other for years... and not just few hours, Marcus smiled

 

“Ok, as you prefer Abigail” he said. Abby nodded.

 

“Well, where can I start?” she thought out loud, remembering everything that had happened until now. “His name was Jake, Jake Griffin, and he was a really good father and... a really good husband” she said, nodding at herself.

 

And then Abigail was talking and Marcus was listening, with his _heart_ wide opened. His eyes darting between her lips and her eyes, his ears ringing with the sound of her voice.

 


	5. Join us.

* * *

On minute Abby was asking him if he wanted a dessert and the next minute Marcus was dragging her by the wrist.

 

Abby was following him in silence, a tiny smile in the corner of her lips. When they finally reached the other side of the tent he opened the curtains and then Abby was “ _thrown_ ” in the middle of a “ _market_ ”. A lot of booths were scattered around the open space. There was not a real street to follow, thus the booths were placed randomly on the ground. There were people talking and walking, not getting around all the small _trinkets_ on their way. Abby was roaming the place with wide eyes, full of _wonder_ and _curiosity_. Marcus stood beside her, smiling.

 

“You like it?” he asked her and Abby turned to him with a _breathtaking_ smile on her face.

 

“Oh yes,  _It's so beautiful!"_  she said biting her lips. She was _excited_ , like a little girl in a Toy Shop. Marcus had to bite back a laugh, because in the blink of an eye Abby was already _rushing_ towards the center of the market.

 

They started to walk from one booth to the other. Abby was happy and her eyes were _devouring_ every detail of that place, from a tiny zen fountain, with purple lights that were shining under the water, to a beautiful garland filled with white flowers and green leaves. Marcus was following her, leaving her the time to look at everything, leaving her the space to walk and move between the booths. He was happy as well, his heart was _melting_ at the view of her smile, touching things, talking to the hawkers about their goods.

 

Abby was so rapt in that new experience that she didn't notice his gaze, she was not aware about the fact that he was watching her with something _warm_ and _intense_ in his eyes, more profound than only _kindness_ , more intimate than _sweetness_... Something was growing inside of him and his eyes were shining with a new powerful light, but Abby was not aware of it.

 

They walked for about ten minutes in a respectful and comfortable silence, without talking to each other, they were content just to _share_ that walk, watching at every little thing with _happiness_ , pointing to strange objects or smiling at each other when some random kids would _collide_ with them running without looking.

 

Suddenly Abby stopped in her tracks, her eyes widened and she smiled deeply, her eyes were caught by a _shimmering_ blue light. Marcus stopped as well and turned back to her. She was leaning over a booth, watching intently at something. He approached her from behind with a smile on his lips.

 

“What is it, Abigail?” he asked her and she turned to him, smiling fondly.

 

“Look” she simply said and then pointed to a necklace that was hanging on a hook. It had two beautiful _mineral_ _stones_ that were twisted together with copper wires. The stones caught the light around them and spread it in beautiful _blue_ and _lilac_ rays, that fell all over her face. She was now wrapped in that light, her dark eyes were _shining_ with lilac twinkles, she was so _beautiful_ that Marcus stared at her, much more speechless than he should. He cleared his throat and smiled.

 

“You like it?” he asked. She nodded, still admiring the necklace.

 

“It's a very beautiful work of art, isn't it?” she said, tilting her head. Marcus nodded approvingly.

 

“ _Yes_ , it is” he said, still looking at  her. Abby turned and her breath caught in her throat. He was staring at her with _sweetness_ , but not _only_ that, it was something _more_ , something like... _love_? She shook her head and then swallowed.

 

“Oh look, flowers” she suddenly said, pointing to another booth. She rushed to it, trying to escape that moment. It was too intimate, his eyes were too deep, his face too close. Her nerves were tense and she was aware that her breath hitched in her throat, her lungs were pleading for air. Thus she was trying to focus on something else, flowers seemed the best option to avoid his _penetrating_ gaze. So she approached the woman behind the booth and started to talk to her about some beautiful purple _orchids_.

 

_Beautiful like the color of his eyes in the candlelight._

 

Marcus was still at the necklace stand, watching her smiling. Then he turned to the necklace once more, in order to buy it, but it was  _gone_. He frowned but then his attention was caught by the man behind the table and he looked up.

 

“For the lady” the man said. He offered him the little black box in his hands, opened it and inside of it was the necklace. Marcus chuckled and then nodded. He payed for the jewel and thanked the hawker with a nod and a smile. The man smiled back at him and Marcus _hid_ the box in the back pocket of his jeans, approaching Abigail again. She was talking with a woman, that Marcus knew as _Costia_ , she was smiling at her, presenting her all the different kind of plants and flowers in her stand. Abigail was listening nodding.

 

“This is a very beautiful kind of orchid, is a _Phalaenopsis_ , the most beautiful thing about that orchid is that if you look at it carefully you will see that it's shapes seems so much like a little _bird_ , even if the name means “ _similar to a butterfly_ ”.

 

Costia was talking with enthusiasm about her flowers, Marcus was smiling listening carefully to her words, while Abigail was leaning over the flower trying to find the bird shapes, she _clasped_ her hands when she recognized it and she turned to him smiling.

 

“Oh, there it is. Do you see it? _Beautiful_ ” she said, still leaning over the little flower. Costia glanced at him, raising an eyebrow. She was smirking and Marcus shook his head chuckling, then he leaned on the counter beside Abigail, who was still scanning the petals with curiosity.

 

“You see it, Marcus?” she asked him, pointing to what was presumably the head of the bird. He smiled, acknowleding her discovery.

 

“Yes I see it” he said, nodding. Then he let his eyes wander about the other flowers. Costia was approaching him from behind, bending closer to have a look over his shoulder.

 

“So, who's the girl?” she asked him, keeping her voice down in order no to reach her ears. Marcus shook his head again.

 

“Just a new friend” he answered her, seeming to be occupied looking at some _lillies_. Costia raised her eyebrows.

 

“Oh I see..” she said and then she was beside Abigail again, who was now breathing in the scent of some red roses.

 

“You want to buy one of these?” she inquired with a warm smile. Even though her eyes were already in her “ _Hawker Mood_ ”, Abigail shook her head.

 

“Oh, it would be lovely, but unfortunately I am not good with flowers and plants, every time I buy something “ _natural_ ” it dies in few days. I am a _plants killer_ , a serial one.” she confessed with a hint of sadness in her voice. Marcus chuckled and the two women turned to him with a quizzical look. He waved his hand in the air and then turned his attention back to the flowers.

 

“Well, I hope that you will change your mind, flowers and plants are beautiful creatures. They can be helpful in life, you know? You can talk to them, they can listen, even if they can't answer, they can listen.” she said, smiling at her. Abigail was captured by her words, she was watching her intently, with warm brown eyes. Marcus turned to them for a moment, recalling the person from whom these words originated. He smiled and then approached them.

 

“Abigail? Do you still want that dessert?” he asked her, standing close enough for her to feel his presence but not quit touching her. She blinked and then smiled.

 

“Oh yes, yes of course.” she reached for Costia's hand. “It was a pleasure, I will come back here if I change my mind about flowers and plants, it's a promise.” she said with a wink, shaking the woman's hand. Costia smiled.

 

“I hope so!” she greeted her and turned to Marcus.

 

“Come back here soon, Marcus. _We all miss you_.” she said, greeting him with that strange gesture again. Abby observed quietly and then nodded to the woman, following Marcus into the crowd of people, along the other booths.

 

“So, where are we going for that dessert?” she asked him with curiosity, but Marcus just smiled.

 

“It's a surprise, you will see.” he said, pointing to a booth that was hiden in a corner. “But first, we have to ran an errand.”

 

“An errand? For whom?” she asked him, approaching the booth. It was filled with fruits of any kind, the smell was almost _intoxicating_ , it was sweet and a little oppressive.

 

“ _Friends_ ” he said smiling, then he reached for an apple.

 

“Hi Marcus” the man behind the booth greeted him. He was tall and handsome, black eyes, shaved head, a beautiful smile in the corner of his lips. Abby couldn't help but return his smile.

 

“Lincoln, what are you doing here? Wasn't Nyko's shift at the market tonight?” he asked perplexed, playing with the apple in his hand. Lincoln chuckled.

 

“Yes, but I owed him a favor, so I am here tonight. What about you? We didn't see you for a long time! What are you up to now?” he asked, crossing his arms.

 

“Oh, nothing in particular. I was busy with college's things. Bellamy is there now!” Marcus answered, smiling proudly.

 

“Oh already? And how was his first day?” he asked, sitting down on a chair behind the booth. Marcus leaned over, with his shoulder on a wooden stake.

 

“It was quiet and – he turned to Abby, who was looking at them smiling – _interesting_ ” he said returning his gaze to Lincoln. The younger man nodded.

 

“I see, oh by the way, I am Lincoln.” he said, offering her his hand. Abby smiled.

 

“I am Abby. It's very nice to meet you, Lincoln!” she said, shaking his hand. It was strong and warm, it felt secure and kind.

 

“So you want the _usual_ , Marcus?” he asked, rising from the chair and moving around some fruit boxes.

 

“Yes exactly! Oh and few _extras_ ” he said nodding and scanning the fruits, while Abby was eyed the food-display. “Pick your favorites, Abigail!” he said to her, before he watched Lincoln filling some empty boxes with random fruits... Apples, pears, grapes, oranges and bananas. Abby tilted her head.

 

“Sorry... What?” she asked him, frowning. Marcus smiled.

 

“Choose your favorites, Lincoln will put them in the boxes” he said, nodding to Lincoln, when he pointed to the blueberries. Abby was still a little bit confused, but then Lincoln approached her, smiling.

 

“So, which one are your favorites, Abby?” he asked. She smiled and turned to the fruits. After giving it some thought, she pointed to the strawberries.

 

“Good choice!” he said, leaning over them, taking a basket of big, red _strawberries_. Abby took some more fruits into account, until she pointed too some _raspberries_. Then she choose a bunch of _fox grapes_ and a basket of _blackberries_. When she turned her attention back to Marcus, he was _smiling_.

 

“What is it?” she asked, approaching him. He bowed his head, hiding his smirk.

 

“Your taste is... _exquisite_.” he said, nodding towards the baskets. She blushed slightly.

 

“Oh really?” she asked him with worried eyes, but he shook his head, chuckling.

 

“Don't worry, it's not a problem. We are not paying for this” he said smiling to Lincoln, taking the box that he was holding out for him. “Could you help me with these” he asked her. She took the other box.

 

“See you soon, Marcus. It was a pleasure, Abby.” he dismissed them with a big smile. Abby smiled in return and then followed Marcus back to his car.

 

_Looking back to the market and regretted not having bought the beautiful necklace to remind her of the magic in this place._

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Tell me. Where are you taking me now?”

 

They were in the car again. The fruit boxes were secured in the back seats, the sweet smell filled the interior of the car. Abby had her head tilted to the side, she was watching him. Marcus was scanning the road in front of them.

 

“You will see, stop asking Abigail, enjoy the _surprise_ ” he said, turning to her for a moment, offering her a sweet smile. She chuckled.

 

“Yes, sorry. I am not used to these kind of... _things_ ” she said, biting her lips.

 

“I can see that” he chuckled, she patted him on the shoulder, laughing a little.

 

 

The drive was quiet and short. They passed some country roads, plunged in the night darkness, it was not scary this time, it was silent, comfortable and almost.... _familiar_.

Abby was melting on her seat, her eyes were scanning the dark, she was curious and her heart was beating with excitement. After few crossroads, Marcus entered a driveway, flanked with outdoor lights, bright but soft.

For a moment everything was _new_ and she was already _roaming_ her eyes over every lit point of her surroundings, when suddenly she spotted a building.

It was big, white, the door was made of glass and few paper candles were lying on the stairs that lead to the entrance. She frowned, her mind was trying to _place_ that view in another situation, but she wasn't able to do that, she knew that this place was not _new_ to her, but she didn't know _why_.

 

“Here we are!” Marcus said, embarkeing from the car. Abby remained _unmoving_ for a moment, still scanning the building, then she surrended and stepped out the car, when Marcus opened the door for her.  She took the second box and held it on her chest, Marcus walked toward the glass door and she followed him.

 

He rang the doorbell and a _lovely melody_ filled the silence, Abby frowned, something _clicked_ in her mind at that sound, she was trying to understand what exactly, when the door opened.

 

“Marcus, sweetheart!” a woman voice reached her ears, she looked up.

 

“ _Mom_ ” he said, holding the woman with tenderness, who smiled and hummed with pleasure.

 

“What a surprise” she said stroking his back. Abby widened her eyes, her breath was caught in her throat, suddenly her memories were back. But she hadn't the time to say anything, because the woman turned her attention to _the woman with the fruit box, who was in her son's company_ and covered her mouth in surprise.

 

“Oh this is-” But before Marcus could say anything else, his mother was already rushing over to her.

 

“ _Abigail_!” she called out, happily, holding her, the box with the fruits was pressed against their chests.

 

“ _Vera_!” she said in a whisper, her heart was pounding with shock, but her body melted a little under the older woman's kind and reassuring touch.

 

“What a pleasure to see you again, honey.” she said in her ear. Abby nodded, then she glanced at Marcus, who was tilting his head in confusion, his eyes were asking her the unspoken, she just smiled shyly. Vera withdrew eventually, still looking at her with sweetness.

 

“What are you doing here, darling?” she asked her. Then she turned to Marcus, who was still trying to understand what exactly was going on here.

 

“Oh honey, you _know_ Abigail? What a beautiful _coincidence_ , and you brought us fruits. This is so thoughtful of you.” she said, taking the box out of her arms. Abby cleared her throat, but did not speak up.

 

“Come in, guys!” Vera invited them, entering the building, humming _happily_. Marcus turned to her, he opened his mouth as if to say something, but Vera was already calling for them. Abby smiled and entered before he could say anything. Marcus swallowed, blinked and then followed her inside.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_Four years earlier._

 

 

“Trust me. It's a really nice place. You will see.” Callie was sitting on Abby's couch, legs crossed, a leaflet in her lap. There were images of trees and flowers on it and the caption -written in italic- read “ _Journey to the ground_ ”.  She was sipping her coffee watching it, while Abby was tidying up the room, trying to put her energy into something _useful_.

 

“I don't want to go, I don't _need_ it” she said, rubbing the towel on the crystal coffee table. Callie looked up at her, she raised an eyebrow.

 

“Oh really? You are cleaning the same spot for the last ten minutes, Ab.” she said, pointing to her hands. She froze and looked down, she sighed and crossed her arms over her chest.

 

“ _Fine_. Where is this place?” Callie smiled in victory and patted a spot behind her on the couch, Abby sat down with a doubtful look, then she gazed at the leaflet.

 

“Who's Vera?” she asked, now _curious_. Callie tilted her head with a smile.

 

“You'll see” she only said, taking another sip from her coffee mug.

 

 

* * *

 

* * *

 

 

 

Two days later, Abby found herself in front of the building that she'd seen on the leaflet.

 

It was massive, but _reassuring_ , with his white walls and all that flowers and the ivy that was growing at each side of the glass door, she sighed and walked toward the door. When she rang the bell, a _sweet and peaceful melody_ filled the air, she smiled shaking her head, she recalled her best friend's word from that morning.

 

“You will see, it's a beautiful place, it's like the _Garden Eden_.” Abby smiled to herself absentmindedly. After a moment of silence, the door opened and a woman welcomed her with a _kind_ smile.

 

“Hi, I am Vera.” she greeted her. Abby was about to extend her hand but the woman _surprised_ her, leaning forward and _hugging_ her to her. Abby froze momentarily.

 

“I don't believe in handshakes, hugs are more _powerful_.” she whispered in her ear. At first Abby was about to _withdrew_ , that sudden rush of _physical_ _contact_ was something new. She was not accustomed to that confidence, but she found that the other woman's touch was not _disturbing_. She was almost _enjoying_ it, because it gave her a feeling of _security_. She felt _protected_ in her embrace and for a moment she even felt _loved_. She shook her head and to her suprise a _genuine_ smile formed on her lips, when the older woman withdrew and squeezed her shoulders

 

“You must be Abigail, Callie called me and told me you were on your way, wanna come in?” she asked her gesturing behind her. Abby nodded and then followed the woman inside the building.

 

The interior was white as the rest of the building, it was _spacious_ , the light came in from the glass windows and covered everything with its bright light, there were _flowers_ everywhere, the house smelled _sweet_ and a _lovely_ and soft _melody_ was filling the air from somewhere hidden. Vera was watching her in silence, her smile was warm and her look was kind, Abby blushed a little and cleared her throat.

 

“It's a really nice place” she said nodding, letting her eyes wander around the room. Vera smiled.

 

“Yes it is, i'm glad you like it. Follow me, I will show you the rest of the house.” she said, pointing to the room behind the corner.

 

Abby followed the woman, who lead her in another white room. There were some sofas, the same white color, some lilies growing in a crystal vase on a coffee table, the glass windows were overlooking a big green garden, some children were running around on the grass, laughing and playing with a red ball, she couldn't help but smile at that view.

 

“This is the “ _welcome_ ” room. This is the first room that people see when they come here, they can sitdown, have a coffee, a tea, a glass of water. We can explain to them what we do here, why we are here and everything they need to know about plants and gardening.” she started talking, while walking slowly toward another room. Abby listened carefully, still catching every possible detail on her tracks.

 

“Here, there is the hall. These stairs lead to the bed- and bathrooms – she pointed to a big staircase that disappeared on the second floor – This is the entrance to the garden, from here you can start to walk toward the forest if you want to or you can go outside and just sit down on a deckchair under the sun” she explained, pointing to a glass door.

 

It was open, overlooking the meadow. Abby smiled, the idea of taking a little time for herself for a walk in the woods or for a sunbath, sounded really nice, she felt her muscles start to relax at the idea itself.

 

“Here, there is the kitchen – she walked to another room. The kitchen was big an bright, an island in the middle of the room was filled with clean plats, the fridge was massive, the oven seemed new, there was a big glass window even there. – "Here is where we eat and we cook, _together_ , we do everything together.” she said nodding and smiling all the same. Abby thought about the last time she had cooked, it was few months ago... but her thoughts were _swapped_ away when Vera approached her, watching her carefully.

 

“Callie told me about your _loss_ , Abigail. I can understand your grief. We all can. Everyone here has lost _something_ or _someone_ , everyone here needed to find themselve again. This is why you are here right? You need to _find_ _yourself_.” she said, tilting her head a little. Abby remained silent, she bowed her head, then sighed and looked up.

 

“I think that I need to do this, yes.” she said in a whisper. The last months had been filled with sadness, tears, pain and memories, she wasn't able to face anymore. She needed time for herself, time to heal her wounds. Her heart was broken, her mind was empty, her soul was nowhere to be found. She needed help, she was aware of that, even so she felt like she wasn't able to accept it, from anyone.

 

Vera smiled and her eyes were shining with a soft light, she leaned in a little and took her bag from her hands. “Give yourself some time, Abigail. You deserve time. This kind of thing needs time. You can't force yourself to the breaking point, you know that you will not be able to help yourself or... your _daughter_ , if you don't heal your own wounds first. _Give yourself time_.” she said.

 

Abby looked at her with watery eyes, she felt her breath shorten, a knot forming in the pit of the stomach. She wasn't ready, she wanted to run away from that place, but Vera was smiling, her kindness was almost _palpable_ , her eyes were sweet and her voice was calm and reassuring. Abby let herself be carried by her spirit and she followed her in silence when she started to guide her up the stairs, to the bedrooms.

 

 

* * *

 

* * *

 

 

 

Vera left her alone in one of the rooms, it was large and bright, white walls, a big queen sized bed, with white and light gray blankets, a lot of pillows and of course, flowers on both nightstands.

 

The windows were overlooking the forest behind the building. There was green as far as her eyes could see, and she could spot a small blue lake shimmering under the sun, not too far away from where she was currently standing.

 

She thought about the idea to walk toward it, _taking her time_ , dipping her toes in the cold water, feeling the wind on her face, laying on the ground, watching the clouds and taking deep breaths.

 

Her mind was _carrying_ her in that daydream like an old friend dragging her toward _peaceful_ emotions, swapping away her sadness and her doubts, replacing them with images of blue water, green leaves, deep brown ground and sounds of birds singing, air rustling through tree's branches.

 

She smiled, leaning her forehead against the windows-screen, her eyes closed, her breath calm. For a moment everything seemed possible, even _happiness_ , even _tranquility_.

 

Then her phone rang and she opened her eyes shaking her head, she approached her bag and took out the phone from within, the display was illuminated and it was vibrating insistently in her hand, the name “ _Cece_ ” appeared on it, she pressed the green button and put the phone to her ear.

 

“Hey Callie” she said with kindness, at the other line she heard cars noises, she was probably going to work, walking on the street.

 

“Hey Ab! How is it going? Do you like it? Have you met Vera? Isn't she adorable?” her voice was _cheerful_ , with a hint of _curiousity_ , she seemed a little worried but at the same time happy. Abby smiled, even if her friend couldn’t see it.

 

“Yes, yes everything is ok. Vera is really _nice_ and you were right – she rose from the bed and walked toward the windows again – "It's _beautiful_ here, very... _peaceful_.” she said, biting her lips, trying to focus her attention on some kids, who were running through the trees.

 

Even if she couldn't hear them, she knew they were laughing, she thought about _Clarke_.

 

“How's Clarke?” she couldn't help but ask, she heard Callie laughing a little.

 

“She is fine Ab, relax, you saw her yesterday, she is at school now, I took her there by myself, she is fine really” she said, the traffic noises were gone, now she could hear her footsteps echoing on a marble floor, she was inside a building.

 

“Yes sorry, I trust you, I am just not used to the idea of not be able to see her everyday” she said, leaning her shoulder against the glass, she closed her eyes and suppressed a sigh. Callie chuckled.

 

“I know sweetie, that's why you are there, you need some time for yourself, have fun, and try to not heal other people, you are there for yourself ok? You deserve care, just give Vera the chance to help you alright?” she said. Abby heard the rang of an elevator, she was going at her office.

 

“Yes, I promise, I will. You take care of Clarke while I am away, ok? I will call you later - in the evening. Have good day at work, honey.” she said smiling and walking toward the door, her phone still pressed to her ear.

 

“Yes, don't worry Abby, we will be fine, your girl _adores_ me you know that right?” she said, giggling a little. Abby nodded, then she remembered that Callie couldn't see her.

 

“I know that, yes” she sad smiling. “Take care. I'll hear from you later.” she said and Callie greeted her with something like “Of course Ab, maybe I will just shut off the phone, so you will be really alone, just kidding, love you, bye sweetie” And Abby was smiling, putting her phone in the back pocket of her jeans, she opened the door and walked down the stairs.

 

* * *

 

* * *

 

 

Abby found the large glass door open, _joyful_ voices were echoing in the yard outside. She stood still for a moment, enjoying the sound, breathing in deeply. She closed her eyes and didn't realize that a guy was beside her.

 

“It's cool here, isn't it?” The voice made her turn abruptly, she blinked and gasped softly, the guy looked at her with worried eyes.

 

“Oh sorry, ma'am. I didn't mean to scare you.” he said, his voice was concerned and his eyes were kind. She shook her head.

 

“No sorry, I was daydreaming. By the way, yes, is really _peacefull_.” she said with a smile. The boy nodded and turned his gaze outside, on the green grass, through the trees and into the blue sky. He was silent and then he was smiling again.

 

“I came here because my best friend told me that it would be _helpful_. I-...I was not having a good time.” he said just that, nodding to himself.

 

Abby was watching him in silence, listening with interest, nodding occasionally. The boy turned his gaze to her again.

 

“I am _Jasper_ , nice to meet you” he said, holding out his hand. She smiled and shook his hand.

 

“Abby, nice to meet you too Jasper” They turned to the yard at the same time.

 

“So, you wanna go outside? Want to take a walk with me?” he asked, his voice was warm, and Abby felt happy for a moment, for no particular reason.

 

“Yes, it sounds lovely... You lead the way.” she agreed, gesturing outside. Jasper nodded and then they walked out.

 

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

 

The sun was up in the sky, the air was sweet and the grass under their feet was tender. Abby was enjoying the view of the trees around her, the sun was sneaking through the branches, caressing their skin with a warm light.

 

Jasper was humming some melody, hands in his pockets, his eyes were scanning their surroundings with the same intensity hers did, she chuckled, watching him enjoy that moment so thoroughly.

 

“So, how long have you been here, Jasper?” she asked with curiosity. He looked down at her and then chuckled.

 

“More than I should admit.”

 

He was silent for a moment, and Abby thought that he was a private person, that this was a personal information. But then he was smiling again.

 

“I came from a really _bad_ situation. My father is _dead_ , my mother is somewhere far away from here. I don't have a home right now, so this – he gesture to the surroundings – is my “ _safe place_ ” for now, you get me? It's the only place I can call my _home_ , Vera is... - he stopped in his tracks for a second, then smiling he said – she is my _spiritual_ _mother_ , somehow.”

 

With that he started walking again, between the trees, without turning back to her, whistling, his eyes were looking up again. Abby smiled and then joined him.

 

“So you are happy here?” she asked, earning a laugh from him.

 

“Yep. I am happy here... _finally_ ” he said, his voice was lower, like it was a secret, and Abby was trying to decipher his expression, his tone.

 

She didn't know this guy but she felt like he had passed a lot of bad moments in his young life, and she felt a huge pang in her chest.

 

Suddenly her mind was recalling a known voice and it was saying:

 

_“you need some time for yourself, have fun, and try to not heal other people, you are there for yourself ok?”_

 

She smiled, shaking her head. She was there for herself, and by the way, Jasper seemed in peace, he was happy, his life was better and this place was really helping him. He didn't need her help.

 

They kept walking in the woods, talking about the sun, the trees, the beauty of nature and talking about favorite stuff.

 

Now Abby knew that he was a huge fan of old trash movies and she confessed that her weakness was chocolate, all kind of chocolate. Jasper found it really cute and she couldn't help but laugh at that sentence. They were returning back to the house when Vera spotted them and approached with a warm smile.

 

“Here you are, Jasper! I was looking for you _kiddo_!” she said with a firm tone, even if her eyes were kind. Jasper chuckled.

 

“Sorry Vera, I was taking a walk with our new resident, she is _cool_ , I like her.” he said, pointing to Abby, who blushed a little. Vera smiled.

 

“Oh I know that she is! But you are late for the “ _ceremony_ ”. Go and take the water, we need to start!” she said, patting him on the shoulder. Jasper smiled and nodded, then he was rushing inside the house saying something like “Monty prepare the water, we need to feed the holy creature” at which Vera snorted.

 

“That boy is so _sassy_ sometimes” she said, shaking her head, but then her eyes were kind and soft again and she was turning to Abby.

 

“So Abigail, you want to _join_ us?” she asked, pointing to the entrance. Abby frowned. 

 

“Join you for _what_?” she asked, starting to walk inside with her.

 

“Oh you will see” Vera said just that and so Abby followed her in silence, she didn't know why but she thought that probably she would like it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Today_.

 

 

Marcus was still trying to get what was going on. Abigail was talking to his mother, smiling, like they knew each other for a long time and he felt a strange feeling rising inside his chest.

 

His head was dizzy, his eyes were watching his mother features carefully.

 

She seemed really happy, she was watching Abigail with kindness, but that was not surprising, his mother was _always_ kind. But he could see something else, something different.

 

She was smiling and her eyes were bright, almost _shining_ , he tilted his head, and rested his chin in his palm, his elbows were pressed on his legs.

 

They were in the “ _Welcome_ ” room. He was sitting on the white couch, a beautiful orange lilie was in front of him, it was huge and colorful and its scent was sweet and overwhelming.

 

He was listening to their voices, but his head was not able to understand what they were saying, because he was too focus on Abigail now.

 

She was nodding, smiling fondly, her dark eyes were studying his mother's face with interest, she was almost rocking on her toes, her arms were not crossed in front of her chest, she was _touching_ his mother's elbow, or her arm, or her hand.

 

They were talking like _old friends_ , touching occasionally each other's shoulders and arms and he felt like this wasn't right, because he knew his mother, but he didn't know who Abigail was.

 

It was strange, Abigail was his _novelty_ , she was his “ _secret_ ”, she was his _stranger_. But now Abigail was “ _his mother's old friend_ ” and that's was something that made him feel _uncomfortable_ somehow.

 

_But why?_

 

The only answer he could give himself was that he didn’t' like that, because Abigail was his to hold dear. It was his priority to make her feel comfortable and yet his mother had seemed to achieve that with ease already. Hers was the smile he had longed for so long, hers was the touch he _graved_... And he felt that familair pang of envy.

 

Yet, he knew so _little_... He knew her name. He knew her daughter. He knew a little bit of her past life. He knew about her late husband. He knew that she liked flowers but she was not able to take care of them. He knew she was a surgeon and that her family was atheist.

 

Apart from that she was a stranger.

 

Even though he knew that her favorite male name with the M was Marcus, at that thought he couldn't help but smile a little, he knew something about her but something wasn't _everything_.

 

The strange fact was that he _wanted_ to know everything, every detail, every shape, every dream or fear.

 

He wanted to _know_ her.

 

But Abigail was not _his_.

 

And her _radiating_ smile was not directed to him.

 

 

_Not yet_. His mind added for him.

 

 

“Oh, I would love to!” Abigail said happily. Marcus looked up at her and he spotted a wide smile on her face, she was nodding, laughing.

 

_She is so beautiful, when she laughs._ He thought.

 

“That's amazing! Marcus you want to join us?” his mother asked him, turning her gaze to him. He shook his head.

 

“Uhm? What?” he asked. clearing his throat. She smiled

 

“You want to join us?” she repeated. Marcus frowned.

 

“ _Join you for what_?” he asked, and noticed that Abigail chuckled a little at this, but he didn't know what else to add.

 

“For the _Ceremony_.” Vera explained to him. He nodded, finally understanding what was going on.

 

“Oh, of course. The _Ceremony_. Well yes naturally, mom” he said, rising from the couch and approaching them.

 

“Good, I will tell the other that we are ready” she said smiling and walked out of the room.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

They were alone and suddenly the air was filled with _tension_ , Marcus cleared his throat and Abigail was now covering her chest with her arms again, like she was protecting herself from something... _him_?

 

“So...you know my mother, uh?” he stated, looking down at her, his voice was calm but he noticed that she winced at the sound of it.

 

“Yes... well, I didn't knew she was your mother but... Yes I know her” Her head was bowed and her eyes were fixed on the marble floor. He nodded and passed a hand through his dark hair.

 

“What a _coincidence_ uh?” he said. She smiled shyly. Marcus frowned, she seemed _uncomfortable_ , he didn’t like that.

 

“Are you all right, Abigail?” he asked her, concerne evident in his voice and at that she looked up.

 

“Mh? Oh yes, yes of course!” she smiled, she still seemed worried for something but she was trying to be polite. He didn't like it either. Something was _wrong_. He didn't know what, but he could feel it.

 

“Ok...” he said in a whisper, about to say something else, but his mother was calling for them again.

 

“Abigail, Marcus, come here, we are ready” her voice echoed in the other room and sharing a glance, they walked toward the voice.

 

“By the way, you have to tell me about that later, you know that right?” he asked her with a smile, almost chuckling. But Abigail was still not looking at him, she bit her lips and nodded absentmindedly.

 

_Something was definitely wrong._


	6. White Tulips and Sliced Fruit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby and Marcus are inside Vera's house. The Ceremony is beggining and Marcus is still worried about Abby's behaving. Why is she so distant all of a sudden? Some flasback moments will tell something more about Abby's past?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thanks for the "Feels Betha Reading" to a-kabby-k, you are precious darling! And this time i didn't have a full betha reading, grammar mistakes are only my fault!
> 
> Ok guys i am SORRY, it took me a lifetime to add the new chapter, but that's because i have so many ideas and in the end...i want to finish this story but i still feel as if it's not even a little bit good enough. But that's my problem, i started it, I will finish it. And i hope you will be able to get everything my mind worked on, just...have faith and took your time, is important with this fic, because it's about time and life. So...nothing. I hope you will like it and btw, the song in the fic is "Good Vibrations by The Beach Boys".
> 
> I want to improve and be better, so...there is no better way except to write and write, even if i don't like it enough, and comments, kudos, critics, everything is lovely accepted, just be respectful :)

Vera Kane had always been an intuitive woman. She always knew when her kid was truly happy or when something was keeping his head and heart busy. When she saw him that night, standing in front of the door with his kind smile and his familiar dark eyes, she could feel his simple and pure happiness as if it was physically radiating from his body. But now, while he was walking slowly in the hall, side by side with his new friend, she could see the ghost of something like... _worry_ , hovering upon him.

 

Marcus had always been a curious child, and he had always looked at the world around him as if he was learning and collecting information, as if he was trying to solve a puzzle, with every new thing he discovered. And he was the same with people.

 

She remembered very clearly the first time he went to the kindergarten and had to meet other kids. When he was back home he was smiling and all the fears she had for him faded away, fears like the fact that he was already five years old and had never experienced something like that before. The trip in India that his father had to take when he was just few months old, had forced them to wait to introduce him into the world as every other kid, and the premature death of him that followed just few weeks before their return back home, had messed-up every possible plan to give him at least the semblance of a normal life.

 

So when her five-years-old boy came inside the living room that day, smiling and talking about this guy named David and this girl named Helen, that had shown him how to make a collage with dry flowers and plastic beads, she had felt happy and proud, happy for his joy and proud of how he was able to recall every detail of that first day and how he seemed happy with that new experience, that was settled in a specific place in his memory forever.

 

Vera Kane was intuitive just as her son was, and she was always carefully watching his child, that now was a grown man always too busy with “ _life_ ”, she missed him that was true, but at least he hadn't forgot her in it all, he was always able to find a moment for her, to come again inside that big house and share with her a talk, a dessert, a coffee and even _The Ceremony_. Like he did that night, surprising her, he wasn't suppose to come again, but he did, with fresh fruit and a new friend by his side.

 

She was smiling absentmindedly lost in her memories, when Marcus put a hand on her shoulder and smiled kindly. She nodded and walked inside the room in front of her, his son and Abigail followed in silence.

 

The room for _The Ceremony_ was as all the other rooms white and bright, it had a big window overlooking the side of the garden that was meant for flowers and gardening, at the moment a tiny and delicate moonbeam was sneaking inside from it. On the walls there were tiny little decorations, carved into the wood, painted on the plaster. At the center of the big room there was a long and slim table, white as well, upon it a little bonsai tree, with its green leaves and its rich soil. At the side of its dark brown jar there was a big glass bowl and multiple tiny ampoules. In the bowl a clear and calm water was waiting, shining under the artificial lights.

 

Vera walked slowly toward it and smiled with something like _reverence_ and respect in her brown eyes. Her hands reached automatically to the green and coarse leaves, she touched them as she was caressing a delicate child, her smile lingered on her lips for a long and silent moment.

 

 

* * *

 

 

In the meantime behind her, Marcus was watching as his mother showed to that little tree her full love and admiration, and remembered how he was always feeling toward that tree when he was a child. It was so hard for him to feel as she felt, it was just a plant, something that was probably beautiful, it could be interesting, but for sure it wasn't something he could love and respect as if it had something like...a _soul_.

 

But his mother could, she was able to observe it for hours and hours, always smiling, her eyes kept staring with _awe_. He remembered one night, he was only eleven years old and had jump down his bed to drink some water, and when he was walking back toward his room he saw a thread of light that was sneaking out from the tree's room. He walked slowly toward it, curiosity pulsing in his tired veins. He reached the door and peered inside, everything was as always normal and silent, but then his eyes were captured by a shape on a chair.

 

It was her mother. She was sitting in front of the tree, her hands were clasped in front of her face, she seemed as if she was... _praying_. Marcus frowned and shifted a little to see better inside, she was murmuring something, but her voice was too feeble to catch the words, he remained like that for few minutes, watching and studying her until she moved and opened her eyes, she bowed her head in a delicate movement and stroked one of the tree's branch. Than whispered something that sounded like “ _Thank You_ ” and kept staring at it in silence.

 

Marcus walked back to his room, the morning after he didn't say anything about that scene, his mother seemed so happy and so... _revived_ , that he decided that he didn't care what that thing was, because if it was able to make his mother seem so good, to him it was perfectly ok.

 

During the years he had been present at every _Ceremony_ and had quietly followed the process of it. There had been periods in which he had avoid it with all of his strength, telling her mother he wasn't interested in it, she had always react in the same way, a silent nod and a sad “ _As you wish darling_ ”. When he leaved the house for the first time alone, to start a new life as a grown man, he started to be too busy to be present every day for it, and later even for the one time in the week, and then the one in the month. Eventually he stopped for several years.

 

Then _something_ happened.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Four Years Earlier_

 

 

His mother came to him one day, it was an uncommon gray day, it was raining and it seemed as if spring was being replace by autumn. Marcus was sipping his tea, reading the newspaper in his quiet living room, and suddenly a knock on the door startled him from his quiet afternoon routine, he walked toward the door sighing and cursing under his breath for the interruption and opened it, ready to reject every possible request, but with his surprise in front of him there wasn't a door-to-door salesman, but his mother, soaked with rain and with a new light in her eyes.

 

“Mum?”

 

Marcus frowned and walked few steps toward her, she was always the hug kind of woman, but she raised a hand in front of her and stopped him.

 

“I just came to tell you a thing Marcus, no need to be _hypocritically_ kind”

 

She said dryly, and Marcus froze, he was not used to that kind of treatment from her, not even when she was angry at him. He crossed his arms, as to defense himself, and nodded, grinding his teeth in discomfort.

 

“Ok...I came because...I just want you to know that I am tired of all of this Marcus. - _She said abruptly, as if she was letting out with fatigue heavy words from her mouth, she bit her lips and than began to speak again_ \- I don't care if you don't believe in what I _believe_ , I don't care if you don't want to be part of my _world_. – _She stopped for a moment as if she was following a script and was trying to remember her next line, then breathed in deeply._ \- But I am your _mother_ and you are my _son_ , and I deserve to see you, at least once in a while, and I am not asking for anything in particular, just to see my son. Is this _too_ _much_ for you? I need to know it, I need to know if you will ever come around in my life again, I can't live like that _forever_ ”

 

She remained quiet after that, her hands were trembling, her lips pursed as if she was suppressing a sob. Marcus blinked and had to force himself to close his mouth, that had dropped down while she was talking, he swallowed and sighed.

 

“Mum I...”

 

She raised her hand again, his mouth fell shut.

 

“No! I don’t want to listen now, if you want to keep avoiding me I will get it, it will be hard but I am your mother and _I will get_ it. But if you _care_ about me...well I will be waiting for you, tonight, same place as always. You don't need to take part of _The_ _Ceremony_ , but you can just come and have a talk with me. I will wait, If I will not see you...I will get that for you it's ok like that, and I will accept this. Just...- _she moved a little and put a wet hand on his arm_ – think about it”

 

Her last words were a whisper, directed to his heart, she was looking at him with tears in her warm eyes, her face was a mask of sadness and Marcus had to fight against the urge to cry and hug her, in that moment he missed so much the feeling of his mother in his arms. He felt as if his all world was crashing around him. She nodded and smiled, a polite smile at the corner of her lips, then closed her arms around her chest protectively and walked fast toward the street, under the cold rain. She disappeared behind the corner.

 

Marcus remained silent, stood still, in front of his door, his body was tense, his mind was trying to get what the hell just happened, but his heart was beating hard, it was almost painfully yelling at him to do something. And he knew exactly what he had to do. He rushed inside of his house and that night found himself in front of her door, head bowed down, heart beating hard, eyes that were pleading forgiveness. His mother hugged him in silence and welcomed him inside.

 

Since that night Marcus was present at every _Ceremony_ , once a week. And hugged his mother every time he had the chance.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_Now_

 

 

A nudge in his hip wiped out his memories, he blinked and turned, at his side Abby was handing him one ampoule.

 

“You have to fill it”

 

She whispered, her voice was kind and sweet, but her hands were thigh around the glass with _discomfort_. Marcus nodded and smiled, trying not to think about her behaviour.

 

“Thanks”

 

They were whispering as if in the room someone was sleeping, but this was the power of _The Ceremony,_ every time seemed as a quiet and mystical atmosphere was covering the entire house, sometimes the entire world. Marcus walked toward the table, exchanged a smile with his mother and filled the ampoule with some of the clear water.

 

As he was trapped in the ocean of memories, the room was filled with other people, now some kids were whispering one to the other while filling some ampoules from the bowl. He scanned all the faces and recognized one of them, so decided to approach the familiar face. When he was close enough, patted him on the shoulder.

 

“Hey Jasper!”

 

The boy looked up at him and smiled

 

“Hey Mr. Kane! What's up?”

 

Marcus smiled and nodded, the boy was still the same, that was a reassuring feeling. He hadn't seen him in a while, they were always participating at _The Ceremony_ in different days and hadn't get the chance to talk a little. It was good to see his face again. He had changed so much in the past years, growing, remembering how to be happy again. He was so proud of him.

 

“Good, and you? How are you doing? I heard you left the house few months ago, what are you up to now?

 

He asked, while pouring some drops of water in the soil. Jasper nodded and did the same after him.

 

“I am doing just fine. I am working as a barman and following some chemical courses at the university, nothing special, and it's a little bit hard to do both perfectly, but I am trying”

 

He said, with something that sounded as _pride_ in his voice, Marcus smiled fondly and nodded.

 

“Yes, it seems so! And what about Monty? Is he okay?”

 

At the mention of his best friend Jasper chuckled.

 

“Oh yes, he is good! He is studying too, informatics, he is not here tonight because had a family dinner, but he likes to come around too”

 

They kept whispering at each other some news, while keep pouring drops of water into the soil. Suddenly Jasper looked up from the tree and frowned.

 

“What the hell?”

 

Marcus hadn't the chance to realize what captured his attention, because in a split second the boy was walking away toward someone. And that someone was...Abigail, that was waiting her turn in silence, arms folded in front of her, hid in a corner of the room. When she saw Jasper her face lit up and her body released the tension she was keeping.

 

“Abby! What are you doing here?”

 

His voice was a little bit too loud and many faces turned toward them, Abigail _blushed_ a little and waved her hand as to keep him quiet, but she was smiling and hugged the boy when he stretched his arms to invite her in. Marcus frowned and poured the rest of the water into the soil, before shifting from his position and making room for another girl that was approaching the jar.

 

He walked slowly toward them, careful not to interrupt their private moment, hiding behind some guys that were walking from and to the tree, he remained few steps from them. He observed as Abigail was laughing at something that the boy was saying and how her dark eyes were shining with a new found happiness. He kept watching, without moving, so _charmed_ by that scene that didn't hear her mother approaching him, when her hand was on his forearm he winced a little.

 

“Something _interesting_ Marcus?”

 

Her voice whispered, Marcus turned toward her and shook his head.

 

“Oh nothing mum. I was just... _watching_ ”

 

He said, trying to fight the urge to look back at Abigail and Jasper, her mother grinned and nodded.

 

“I see...I was wondering if you could do me a favor”

 

She said, while keeping an eye on every kid that was moving around them.

 

“Sure”

 

He said, nodding approvingly to an unspoken question.

 

“Can you please help with the fruit? I need to stay here till the end of _The Ceremony_ so I was thinking...”

 

Marcus raised a hand and nodded without letting her finish.

 

“I am on it mum, no problem!”

 

He kissed his mother's forehead and, smiling, walked toward the door. He crashed against a guy so stopped and turned to apologize and then met her eyes, he saw perfectly how the light that was shining in them went off quickly once she saw that he was watching at her. He smiled, but she closed her arms around herself another time and bit her lips, adverting her eyes. Marcus sighed and walked outside.

 

Once he was inside the white kitchen and had on his palm one of the strawberries Lincoln had chose for Abigail at the market, he couldn't help but _smile_. When he started to clean and cut them in pieces his mind went off, every thought was quiet, only the scent of fresh fruit was keeping him company.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Meanwhile, in the tree's room, Abby was trying to shake away the strange feeling that had overwhelmed her since Vera had opened the door. When the woman that had _cure_ her soul four years earlier, had hugged the man she was with that night, that she knew as just Marcus, and had found out was more than that...because he was _that_ Marcus.

 

And the guilt she was feeling inside of her chest since that moment was making her feel more and more uncomfortable in his presence.

 

She knew that man. She knew things about him. She knew things she wasn't supposed to know, they met just few hours ago, it wasn't even a day, but she was able to tell even what his favorite color was.

 

She knew so many things, and he didn't know.

 

This wasn't her fault, she hadn't decide to meet him because she knew who he was, it just happened.

 

They just met, and his dark eyes that seemed so mysterious yet so deeply inviting, his posture that said to her about all the years he had passed in the army, his voice, that was so deep and so reassuring, everything about that stranger had capture her, even that silly and stupid game about the names, how he had tried and tried to guess it, just for fun. She had to go out with him, she had to give him a chance...to give herself a chance.

 

And then he surprised her, with that beautiful place, with that fabulous dinner, and they had talk as they knew each other since ever, he had listen to her deeply and with natural interest. She had felt as if she was enjoying completely herself again as a woman, after so many years alone in her life. She was always the mother, the doctor, but never the _woman_.

 

And suddenly there was this man, that had shown her this new world, _his_ world, they were just haning out together and suddenly they were at his mother's house, and that place that was quietly resting in a corner of her mind, reassuring but still silent, that was a beautiful memory that she wasn't thinking about since years, all of a sudden was in front of her.

 

And everything was there again, her sadness, her grief, her _rehab_ too...even all the stories about that man, named Marcus, that was once a child and was now a man.

 

And Abby was feeling as that man deserved to know everything about her as she knew everything about him.

 

But was she ready to give to a stranger so many things of her?

 

She just met him, she just guessed his name.

 

And yet...she already knew which one was his favorite color...

 

 _Green_. His favorite color was green.

 

And she remembered it perfectly, because it was her daugther's favorite one too...

 

* * *

 

 

_Four years earlier_

 

 

“Green is such a beautiful color isn't it?”

 

Abby was sitting on the grass, just few steps from the house, her back to the windows, her face to the woods. Her mind was flying with thoughts, her lungs were collecting all the clear air around her, her eyes were closed, so the new voice startled her, and she couldn't help but wince.

 

“Oh sorry Abigail, it wasn't my intention to scare you”

 

Said Vera, resting a hand on her shoulder, her tone calm and kind as always. Abby chuckled softly

 

“No, no it's ok. I was..I was just...”

 

She gestured around her, as to use that as an explanation, and Vera nodded 

 

“I know, sometimes just sitting on the grass can be helpful, it's like becoming again part of the world, the kind of world we left _behind_ , the one we forget about. The world that is living just under our feet – _she patted her shoe on the meadow_ – but under streets and buildings, hidden in gray and noises.”

 

She smiled and tilted her head a little, _observing_. Abby felt as if she was blushing under the woman's curious gaze, she swallowed and nodded, standing up on her feet again.

 

“Yes, absolutely! I am always running from the house to the hospital, and than from the hospital to the school, and then back home. I don't have so much time that I can spend just...waiting, doing nothing at all, _enjoying_...”

 

Her eyes were lost again, scanning and observing the green around her, the trees, the outline of the mountains at the horizon, and her ears were quietly admiring the peaceful noise of the life, the natural and quiet life around her. Everything was so green, she was thinking about her daughter, Clarke loved the green of nature so much.

 

“I am glad that you find it relaxing, and _helpful_ ”

 

She said, squeezing her arm gently, Abby smiled and bowed her head a little

 

“Yes, I am glad too”

 

Vera breathed in and closed her eyes, then smiled fondly

 

“I want to show you something, do you want to join me?”

 

She asked offering her arm as a support for the walk, Abby nodded and took the chance to lean a little on the older woman, following her steps on the grass. Vera rested her hand upon Abby's fingers.

 

“Where are we going exactly?”

 

Asked Abby, her eyes already scanning the path, as to get where Vera was leading her. The woman chuckled and bit her lips

 

“You are always asking questions, aren't you?”

 

Abby blushed, this time for real, and nodded

 

“I am sorry, I can't help it, I always need to know what I will do next, where I will go, it's part of my... _nature_ I guess”

 

Vera raised an eyebrow and smiled

 

“I guess you are right Abigail, and to answer your question, we are going inside the _greenhouse_ ”

 

With that she remained quiet and kept an eye on the surroundings, Abby smiled and followed her without asking anything else. They turned toward a beautiful tree and exchanged a nod with some kids that were sitting under its protective branches. When suddenly they stopped.

 

“Ok, now come inside with me, I think it's time for you to start something new”

 

She said, with her quiet voice. Abby frowned but felt curious about her words, so she nodded and followed her inside the _greenhouse_.

 

She was at Vera's house since almost a week, but had never saw that part of the property. Vera had told her to explore everything with her time, she wasn't going to give her instructions, she said her that she could go wherever she wanted to go, she could walk in the woods, toward the lake, she could stay around the perimeter of the building, she could lay on the big bed in her room all day. The decision was up to her, that was part of the _healing_ _process_ too.

 

So Abby had spent the first days walking into the woods outside, talking with Jasper, she had took part of _The Ceremony_ too _._ At the beginning she was going to reject the offer to join it, but when Vera had explain to her that it wasn't about faith, or religion, but was just about respect and love for the world around them, she had tried to follow the process, and now every evening her drops of water where poured into the soil. Because she respected the world, she wanted to.

 

And now she was walking inside the greenhouse for the first time. It was massive, there were long rows of different kind of plants and flowers next to the glass walls. The light of the sun was coming inside from the roof and the panels, but it wasn't pure and bright as it was outside, it seemed as the building was gently smoothing it. The air inside was oppressive and thick, that was probably normal, it was full of plants and the carbon dioxide was covering the space entirely. But the scent inside of it was still amazing, it was a mixture of sweet and prickly notes of perfume, it was so intense, yet so delicate that you could miss it if you didn't pay attention to it.

 

Vera walked toward a metal desk and took a notebook and a pen. Abby approached her, keep staring at every flower and plant. There were orchids and roses, lilies and primroses, gardenias and tulips.

 

“Ok Abigail, are you ready?”

 

Asked Vera, holding the notebook against her chest.

 

“I think so”

 

Said Abby, even if she didn't know what Vera's was talking about.

 

“I took you here because I want to start with you a... _treatment_ , probably you would call it like that”

 

She said smiling, Abby chuckled

 

“Oh yes? Probably, even if I am not used to use – _she gestured to the flowers_ – these kind of medicine and equipment”

 

Vera nodded and laughed slightly

 

“Well yes, that's because we are not doctors, and this in not an hospital. This treatment is more to cure...- _She rested a hand on Abby's chest, exactly where her hart was beating quietly_ \- ...the inner wounds”

 

Abby was silent, even if she was already able to feel the knot that was forming at the pit of her stomach, and her throat was starting to burn, it was always like that when Vera was touching her, comforting her _aching_ spirit. She was now fighting hard against the sudden urge to cry, so she just nodded almost imperceptibly and kept quiet.

 

“We will start with the _funny_ part of the process, the easy one. You will pick up one flower, your choice”

 

She pointed to the plants and took few steps away from her to let her some more space, Abby looked at them. She had to pick one of them, that seemed indeed easy. Without a word she started to walk toward the rows of plants and her eyes roamed over every colorful petal and bulb.

 

“Take your time darling”

 

Vera whispered, and Abby smiled... _take your time_...everything in that place was about time, doing things without planning, without thinking too much. All the time in the world to pick up a flower, it was something that Abby was start to enjoy, taking her time.

 

She kept looking carefully, there were so many colors, so many beautiful shapes, how she was going to pick just one flower?

 

There was a beautiful velvet red rose, its color was so deep and intense, it seemed as if it was made of silk, it captured the light as if it was dancing with it, and she could see some golden reflection inside of its dark color. She breathed in its scent and walked slowly away from it, maybe the rose was too _classic_ , it was the symbol of passion and love, and Abby felt almost _intimidated_ by its ancient beauty and its inner meaning.

 

_In the meantime, few steps behind her, Vera was writing down something on her notebook, in silence, observant as always._

 

Abby reached a group of orchids, there were some white and some purple, one was a confused yet beautiful mixture of pink and magenta. She leaned a little toward them and looked carefully at their shapes, they were so beautiful, yet so uncommon. Orchids were famous too be delicate and expensive, elegant and pure. Symbol of beauty and elegance, she felt as if they were maybe too much for her. She gave them a final look and walked away.

 

_Vera nodded and wrote something else down._

 

This time Abby stopped in front of some colorful Tulips, their strong and rigid petals were shining under a raise of sun, they had different heights, some of them were about 4 inches and other were almost 28, Abby was watching with interest at their structure and saw that some of them had few leaves and other were full of them.

 

She touched gently a white Tulip, it seemed so pure and delicate, so tiny and fragile, yet it had a strong stem that was keeping its white corolla up toward the light. She smiled, that tiny little flower was giving her a beautiful feeling, she felt as if it was whispering to her something. She turned toward Vera

 

“I like the Tulips”

 

Vera smiled and approached her

 

“This is not surprising me at all”

 

She said, while leaning a little toward the Tulips and caressing their petals

 

“You know what is the meaning of the Tulips Abigail?”

 

She asked, Abby thought about the question and answered at it instinctively.

 

“I guess...Pureness? Joy? Life?”

 

Vera smiled and looked at her, hand clasped in front of her chest

 

“Can you explain me _why_ you thought this?”

 

Abby blushed, she felt as her answer was wrong, but Vera wasn't accusing or reproaching her, she was just asking, so Abby swallowed and tried to think about it

 

“I don't know, I guess that this was just...a _feeling_ ”

 

She tried to form a proper explanation, but she wasn't used to explain that kind of things, flowers weren't her territory, she was able to tell the name of every one of the 270 bones inside of a human body, but explain her feelings toward a flower...it was something she wasn't used to. And this was making her feel uncomfortable.

 

“You know Abigail, flowers and plants can have more that one meaning, we rely on legends and myths, tradition and culture. But I think that each flower has the power to make feel something different based on the person.”

 

She smiled quietly and walked few steps toward Abigail, then rested one hand on her shoulder, Abby released a breath she didn't know she was holding.

 

“What about the _common_ meaning?”

 

She asked, because now curiosity was pushing her thoughts toward that question. Vera smiled and turned to the flowers

 

“It's _love_. Their meaning it's _perfect_ _love_.”

 

She took one of Abby's hand and moved it upon all the bulbs, she wasn't touching them but could feel their presence under her palm. It was such a simple gesture, yet she hadn't hought about it, Vera did. Of course Vera did. She kept hovering her hand upon the flowers.

 

“The Tulip is a classic flower of love but it has multiple meanings inside of it. The Turkish people considered it a symbol of paradise on earth. To the Ottoman their was symbol of heaven and eternal life. The Dutch considered it as reminder of how brief life can be.”

 

She smiled, while taking both of Abby's hands and holding them in hers, her eyes were looking at her with kindness and affection. Abby was listening carefully in silence.

 

“The meaning of love came during the years. For example the Tulip is a symbol of love in the “ _One Thousand and One Nights”_ book. The sultan was used to let drop a red Tulip at the chosen one's feet.”

 

Abby smiled, and Vera started to stroke her fingers with gentle kindness.

 

“It's common to use the red rose to profess love and passion. But not everyone remember the Tulip, that with its multiple colors can say more than just an “I love you”. Every color has a meaning, and every shape is a different promise, a different feeling.”

 

Abby nodded, she was starting to get her.

 

“The Tulip is not too big, too small, too elegant, too bright...it is always just _right_. And i think that this is why you picked this flower Abigail.”

 

Abby tilted her head, she chose that flower because of its structure, and its simple beauty captured her, her eyes found beauty in it's simple shape and it's multiple colors, it was always the same yet always different. Vera raised an eyebrow.

 

“You will get there Abigail, you have to feel it, don't force your mind to give to it an explanation, it's just a feeling, it's just pure emotion. You have to let it come inside of you.”

 

Abby nodded and bit her lips, she turned toward the Tulips and felt as if they were staring at her, they were quiet and beautiful, and their colors seemed as they were just perfect where they were. Just right.

 

“So now what i have to do with them?”

 

Vera smiled and let go her hands. She gestured to the flowers.

 

“You will have to take care of one of them Abigail, you will raise one flower and will be sure it will raise healthy and good. Just as a mother with a child, you will be its protector, its guide.”

 

Abby smiled

 

“I have to take care of a plant? For real?”

 

Vera nodded, her expression was now serious

 

“It's not easy Abigail, flowers are living things, they can grow freely and wild in the nature by themselves, but here, where the humans live and grow, they are limited to jars and little spaces, they need to have the right light, the right temperature...the right care.”

 

Abby nodded and bowed her head, suddenly feeling _reverent_.

 

“Of course”

 

She whispered, and Vera put a finger under her chin and raised her head a little, so she was looking at her properly in the eyes

 

“Don't worry Abigail, it will be a beautiful journey, you will figure out how it can be positive to take care of such a great creature as a flower. They can give you inspiration, joy, beauty. You just have to put a little faith in yourself”

 

Abigail was speechless, a simple thing as taking care of a plant seemed now so...hard, meaningful. She felt as if she wasn't ready.

 

“Are you sure I can do this?”

 

Vera chuckled with kindness.

 

“Of course darling, you are here for a purpose, _healing_. And I intend to help you on that, you have to let this flowers do the same. You will take care of it and it will take care of you. Trust me, you will see how much power can be kept hid inside of a little bulb.”

 

Abigail smiled and nodded. They shared a last glance at each other and then Vera pointed to the plants.

 

“Choose the one you want to take care of and I will tell you when it's ready for you darling”

 

Abby looked at the flowers and in a second her choice was already in front of her.

 

“I pick up the white one”

 

Vera smiled.

 

“Worthiness and Forgiveness.”

 

They smiled at each other.

 

* * *

 

That night when Abby went back in her room, she found a handwritten note on her bed. She took and opened it carefully. She recognized Vera's hand inside the black ink.

 

“ _A tulip doesn’t strive to impress anyone. It doesn’t struggle to be different than a rose. It doesn’t have to. It is different. And there’s room in the garden for every flower.” – Marianne Williamson_

 

Abby smiled and sit on her bed, the piece of paper in her hands, she looked outside the windows and thought about where she was, what she was doing there, and how she was missing her daughter. She missed Clarke so much. She needed to call her later.

 

And for the first time in months, even if she didn't notice that, she hadn't thought about Jake.

 

Her heart was quiet and a smile was blossoming on her lips.

 

It seemed as if she was really starting to _heal_.

 

 

* * *

 

  _Now_

 

 

Marcus was filling some glass cups with pieces of various fruit, some strawberries, some raspberries, a piece of melon and two slices of orange. He was smiling absentmindedly, and hadn't notice that he had an audience behind him.

 

“You like fruit, don't you?”

 

Her smoky voice reached his ears like a warm gust of spring wind. He smiled and turned behind him. She was leaning her shoulder against the door, her arms were folded in front of her chest but her lips were smirking and her eyes were shining with amusement. He chuckled

 

“I do! What about you Abigail? How do you feel about fruit?”

 

He asked, while turning again toward the fruit. Abigail reached him from behind and peered on his shoulder to look at what his hands were working on. He was picking some pieces of melon from a big wooden bowl.

 

“I can help, if you like the idea”

 

She said quietly, Marcus turned a little his face, she was close to him now, _very_ close. It was so intimate that he couldn't help but look at her.

 

Her scent was delicate and reached his nose gently, he could observe every detail of her face, how the corners of her mouth were naturally curved down, even when she was smiling. That gave her an aristocratic and elegant appearance, her beauty was so simple and yet so detailed. Her dark brown eyes were like deep oceans in which he wanted to dive in, and her skin seemed creamy with its bronze complexion, her lips weren't particularly full or defined, yet they were incredibly attractive.

 

“You are staring Marcus”

 

She said, with her playful smirk on the corner of her, suddenly too much _desirable,_ lips. He swallowed and turned his attention back to the fruit.

 

“I was just...thinking, Abigail”

 

He said, his voice was firm, but his heart was hammering in his chest, he was indeed staring. Abigail nudged him in the shoulder.

 

“Oh it's ok if you want to stare a little”

 

She mocked him, even if her voice trembled for a moment. Marcus chuckled

 

“Ok, what about more helping and less talking?”

 

He said, handing her one of the cups. Abigail took it, and for a second their fingers met. He felt the warmth and the softness of her skin. He withdraw without saying a word. Abigail tilted her head, a curious expression on her face, but then she shook it away and put the cup on the table.

 

“So...what I have to do _exactly_?

 

She asked, gesturing to the massive amount of sliced fruit in front of her, Marcus pointed to the sink.

 

“First of all, clean your hands”

 

Abigail nodded and walked toward it, whispering a "Oh right".

 

She cleaned them quickly but carefully, he watched as she passed her fingers under her palm, under her nails, rubbing with gently pressure on her skin, circling the fingers on the palm and the knuckles.

 

_She was definitely a doctor._

 

“Ok, and now?”

 

She asked once her hands were clean and dry. She was standing in front of the table, hands raised up in front of her face, Marcus laughed

 

“Ok Abigail relax, it's not an _open-heart surgery,_ it's just a fruit salad”

 

He went behind her without thinking twice and put her hands down on the marble table. His face was now few inches behind her head, and he could smell the scent of her hair.

 

_Why was so hard for him now to stop thinking about her scent?_

 

Abigail nodded but remained quiet. Marcus took one of her hands and moved it toward the pile of sliced strawberries.

 

“Pick one of the slices”

 

He whispered in her ear, he could feel her body, it was _so alive_ few inches from his, and she was slightly shivering. He kept moving her hand without withdrawing. This time he lead her over the pile of melon.

 

“And then another one. You have to choose which flavors you like, and than use...just your imagination.”

 

He said, still whispering between her caramelized hair. Abigail was quiet and her hand seemed tense under his palm. Marcus decided to drop it once the melon was inside the cup and took few steps away from her. She let out a sigh.

 

“Are you ok Abigail?”

 

He asked, with a hint of amusement in his voice. Abigail glared at him slightly.

 

“Absolutely _fine_ , thank you”

 

Marcus nodded and started to fill other cups, and while his hands were putting some slices of orange on some bananas, his head recalled a melody and he couldn't help but follow it with his mouth, just as his mother was used to do when she was working on something she liked. That was when he started to sing quietly.

 

“ _I-I love the colorful clothes she wears. And the way the sunlight plays upon her hair.”_

 

Abby frowned and looked at him. He was keep filling the cups with the fruit and wasn't paying attention to her, so this time she was the one _staring_. He was singing and almost _dancing_ , moving his hands on the sliced fruit with something that seemed as... _joy_. She couldn't help but smile. This man was singing and dancing in the kitchen, as if they knew each other since ever, comfortable feelings started to flow toward her.

 

“ _I hear the sound of a gentle word. On the wind that lifts her perfume through the air”_

 

Right now her lips were forming a genuine amused smile and the piece of melon she was holding, dropped with a dull and quiet thud inside the cup.

 

“ _I'm pickin' up good vibrations.”_

 

She bit her lips and focus again on the fruit. And suddenly, after a slice of orange and a piece of banana, she was singing along with him.

 

“ _She's giving me excitations_ “

 

When their voices met on the same line, Marcus chuckled, but kept his eyes on the fruit, and Abby followed suit. They started to raise their voices a little.

 

“ _I'm pickin' up good vibrations –_ he sang _\- Good vibrations, oom bop bop_ – she said with him.”

 

They laughed at the same time and exchanged a look.

 

“ _She's giving me excitations –_ he started to move his hips a little - E _xcitations, oom bop bop –_ she was slightly dancing using her shoulders.”

 

They kept singing the chorus together, one with the other.

 

“ _Good, good, good, good vibrations_ – his voice was now louder and Abby burst out laughing - _She's giving me excitations_ _–_ she sang while laughing joyfully”

 

Marcus chuckled and turned to her, with her _surprise_ he put the fruit away and in a split second he took her left hand in his right one and put his left arm behind her back. Then he started to move inside the kitchen, they were now _dancing_ , a weird and clumsy dance, but he was kept singing and she was now feeling surprisingly good.

 

“ _Close my eyes, she's somehow closer now. -_ Abby smiled instinctively _\- Softly smile, I know she must be kind.”_

 

He was leading her body inside the spacious room. She was lost in his movements, following his steps, without knowing where she was supposed to go next, but _honestly_ , she didn’t even care.

 

“ _When I look in her eyes. -_ He was keep moving, but his eyes were now fixed on hers, she swallowed- _She goes with me to a blossom world”_

 

The hand that was on her back shifted a little, and his thumb was now touching slightly the strip of skin between her shirt and her pants, she blushed and shivered, it passed so much time since the last time a male hand was on her skin...and she was memorizing everything about that involuntary gesture.

 

“ _I'm pickin' up good vibrations_ – It was supposed to be a funny and rhythmical line, but he said it as if it was a whisper - _She's giving me excitations”_

 

Was he leaning toward her? Was his breath on the tip of her nose now? Abby lowered her gaze and was now staring at his lips, under his black beard. When she looked up again she saw that he was staring at hers.

 

_No. No. No._

 

Her mind was panicking, but her body was still in the same position as if it wasn't going to move for any reason, and her heart was beating so fast, but it wasn't anxiety, no...it was _excitement_. She was _excited_ about the idea to feel attracted to a new man, even if he was barely an  acquaintance.

 

And when his dark eyes locked with her own, and his hand tightened around her fingers...a voice echoed in the hall outside the kitchen, and Abby took that as a chance to withdraw and brake the awkward, and definitely _too_ _intimate_ , embrace.

 

“Marcus? Abigail?”

 

And so all of a sudden, Vera walked inside, smiling.

 

“Oh here you are guys, so, how is it going with the fruit salads?”

 

She asked, approaching the table and watching carefully at every little cup.

 

Marcus turned toward Abby and she averted her eyes, folding her arms in front of her chest, she was suddenly feeling so shy. He nodded and bit his lips, then walked to his mother, without a word about the moment they just shared.

 

Abby felt a thick and oppressive feeling falling down on her, what was it? Fear? Anxiety? Shame?

 

She shook her head and walked outside the kitchen, saying something like “ _I need some air”_ and disappeared from their view.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_Four Years Earlier_

 

 

Abby found out that taking care of a flower wasn't easy as she had thought, it was a slow process, based on _constancy_ and _patience_.

 

At first Vera showed her how to put the Tulip in a jar, how to change it without hurting the roots, and then how much soil was necessary for it to grow without problems.

 

She shown her how many times she had to give it some water and how gently she had to touch the petals, without using too much strength, but not even without some firmness.

 

And when the flower was filled with soil and water and was in the right position under the sun, she had to learn how to... _talk_ to it.

 

At first Abby felt as if Vera was mocking her.

 

“I need to talk to it? For real?”

 

Vera smiled, she was planting some hydrangeas just outside the tree's room. Her hands were covered with dark soil and her blue pants were dirty, but she seemed the happiest woman in the world.

 

“You have to trust me when I say to you that plants are good _listener_.”

 

She said, wiping some drops of sweat from her forehead. Abby put her hand on her hips.

 

“I trust you Vera, but...this sounds a little bit too much...as _fantasizing,_ to me”

 

Vera chuckled, and turned toward her, she had to cover her eyes from the sun, that day it was particularly bright and warm. In fact Abby was wearing a light gray camisole, that was letting her shoulders and collarbone exposed, and was enjoying the pleasant stroke of the sunrises on her skin.

 

“It's not a _fantasy_. We are not talking about something that you can or can't _feel_. I am talking to you about _science_.”

 

At the mention of science Abby tilted her head and frowned, she was really not getting her.

 

“Science? What do you mean?”

 

This was her territory, and she wasn't going to say that she knew everything about science, she was a doctor after all, not a botanic, but she was almost sure that she had never read about flowers in her books, except for their use in medicine.

 

“I mean – _she raised on her feet and walked toward her_ – that science is studying plants and flowers since ever. A lot of researches show how a flower can be afraid of fire, how it can get your intentions, if you are going to take care of it or if you are going to kill it.”

 

She seemed really serious in her speech, and Abby couldn't disagree with her, not now, not when she was talking to her with that serious tone, with that _fire_ dancing behind her eyes.

 

“But I don't want to talk about science, facts, researches and statistics. I want to talk about _feelings_.”

 

Vera smiled and looked at her with her usual kindness. Abby felt as she own her this. She should just listen, follow her lead. This was Vera's territory, her home, her nature. This wasn't an hospital, she wasn't the doctor now, she was the _patient_ , and the woman, a woman with a hole in her heart, and in the end...talking to a plant wasn't maybe so bad.

 

_What she had to loose after all?_

 

“You know what? Just...show me”

 

Vera smiled and nodded.

 

“I don't have to show you anything Abby, just go inside, take your Tulip and go somewhere you feel... _comfortable_ in. It will come to you. Just _try_.”

 

With that she focus again on the blue flowers at her feet and started to hum a melody. Abby wanted to ask her something more, she wanted to be lead in that process, she wanted to be guided.

 

But Vera wasn't with her anymore, she was in her private heaven, made of flowers, melodies, and sunrises.

 

So Abby sighed and walked inside the greenhouse, she took her white Tulip and, hiding the sudden embarrassment behind the delicate petals, walked toward the woods.

 

She stopped just when the emerald lake appeared in front of her. It was shimmering under the bright sun and the trees around it were covering its drifts with delicate shadows that were dancing on the sandy ground.

 

She sighed and sat down on a light gray rock, it was smooth and big, as if it was made exactly for her body, she had spent some quiet hours there in the first days, she had welcomed the surroundings in her heart, and had appreciate the sweet and peaceful melody that the nature had created with the sound of the wind and the sweet tweet of the birds all around her.

 

And there she was again, on the same spot, overlooking the clear water, fighting against the urge to dive into it, she put the jar beside her on the rock and then stared at it.

 

The white Tulip remained quiet in his jar, under some light raises of sun, quiet as just a flower could be. And she started to feel a little uncomfortable.

 

_Was the flower watching at her? Was it...staring back?_

 

Abby chuckled and mentally reproached herself.

 

_What the hell Abigail? It's a flower, not a person, it doesn't has eyes, it can't...watch or stare._

 

And yet...

 

She leaned a little on her elbow and observe quietly as the sun was calmly and gently stroking the white petals of the flower. As the green of the stem seemed as if it was shining. And she could smell the delicate scent better, now that the sun was working on it's photosynthesis.

 

She stayed like that for almost an hour and didn't say anything. When her stomach started to growl, asking for something eatable to keep quiet, she stood up, took the jar and walked again toward the house.

 

She did that same process other two times.

 

But the fourth day something changed.

 

She was gazing at the lake's drift, she was observing how the water was lapping at some rocks, and how the sun was shining and moving his reflection on the surface. When suddenly she just started to talk. Without thinking about it....it just happened.

 

“You know...I need to take Clarke to the lake that there is on the mountains around the city sometimes, we went there when she was little, she loved to throw rocks into it, to see how much faraway she was able to make them go, and how deeply it would go into the abyss of the lake.”

 

She smiled at the memory of her blond hair dancing in the air, the big dark blue lake behind her young body, her laugh that echoed into the valleys, between the rocky mountains. And the shadow of him, pushing her from behind, to let her _gently_ fall down into the water. How she had then laughed and had started to yell...

 

“ _Daddy_! Come on, it's not fair!”

 

Her voice was so clear and so pure in her head, it seemed so near to her, as if she was again on that drift, laying on the ground, one book opened on her lap, the bookmark always at the same page, the memory always on the same word.

 

 _Life_. The word was alwasy life.

 

She still had that book somewhere, probably it was hidden inside of one of Jake's drawers.

 

She should finish it sooner or later.

 

And then she blinked, because she suddenly realized that some hot tears were running down her cheeks, she was _crying_.

 

She wiped them away and chuckled.

 

“What the hell?”

 

She remained like that for a while, in pure disbelief, she was chuckling and crying at the same time, her heart was pumping out so many feels all together, her eyes were welcoming the wet tears, and her hands were resting gently on her lap, not wiping them away.

 

She wasn't fighting against her need to cry anymore, she was taking everything, she was feeling... _remembering_.

 

The white Tulip remained quiet at her side for the all afternoon, the wind kept blowing between the branches, the birds kept flying quietly from tree to tree.

 

And Abby felt _everything_.

 

And she did it day after day. For almost two weeks, she kept talking to her Tulip, and it kept listening, without judging, without complaining, just...listening.

 

And _growing_.

 

And when her healing process was slowly driving her toward the end, her heart was finally so open to the world that she noticed a change around her.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was a quiet spring's afternoon, and she was filling a list of the things that were missing in the greenhouse, like some new soil, few new jars, a new hoes. She was writing down on her paper while humming for herself an old melody that came up on her mind. She was singing again after Jake, it was such an important step.

 

And then suddenly she saw her, in the corner of her eyes, Vera. She was filling a jar with some new soil.

 

_Was it for a new guest of the house?_

 

She smiled and looked at her.

 

The older woman was watching carefully at her hands, while her fingers were diving deeply inside the rich ground, but she wasn't just focus as always...she seemed, _lost_...and it wasn't as when she was lost with beautiful memories and peaceful thoughts about life.

 

No.

 

It seemed as if she was lost in a more deep and dark kind of feeling.

 

It was _sadness_.

 

Abby recognized it immediately.

 

She thought about what do to, was she suppose to ask her how she was feeling? She knew she wasn't suppose to take care of anyone else except for herself and her Tulip.

 

And yet...

 

She shook her head.

 

It wasn't her problem. She wasn't suppose to ask her such a private thing, Abby came voluntarily there, she opened her heart to Vera, she chose to take part of a process to feel better.

 

Vera hadn't. She didn't ask her help, she hadn't welcome her inside of her mind. It wasn't up to her.

 

So she remained quiet and kept working on her duties.

 

She kept going on like that for a while. And than the day after came.

 

Abby was sniffing at some new pink roses, ready to be planted outside the house's perimeter, Vera was pouring some water inside of a big jar, with a blue hydrangea that was growing high and huge.

 

In her eyes Abby could see the ghost of something, something that seemed as a thick shadow, that passed briefly upon the light inside her irises.

 

She kept quiet and walked toward her room, without saying a word.

 

Vera didn't even notice.

 

And so the third day she decided it was time to follow her instinct. She had took her time, she pondered about that...and suddenly she was sure it was the right decision.

 

So was than that she decided to approach her, a question already on the tip of her tongue.

 

“Vera?”

 

She whispered, the older woman turned toward her, her hands were tightening on the table's edges and her eyes were watery and red.

 

_Was she crying?_

 

“Can I ask you something?”

 

Vera nodded and loosened the grip on the table.

 

“Of course Abigail”

 

She said, her voice was lower than usual and her eyes seemed tired.

 

“I was thinking...”

 

She started to say, and Vera was already smiling, but then she shook her head and closed her eyes for a moment. She sighed and just asked.

 

“What is wrong Vera? Something is wrong isn't it?”

 

Vera looked at her this time, and frowned.

 

“What do you mean Abigail? _Nothing_ is wrong darling”

 

Her voice reached her ears, but not her heart. She knew that something wasn't in the right place.

 

“I noticed – _She started to walk toward the blue flower_ – that you chose a new jar, new fresh soil, and a new flower for a... _treatment”_

 

She turned to her while she was talking, as if to be sure she was listening, Vera was silent, but was looking at her carefully.

 

“And I thought that maybe someone else was coming, that someone else needed to heal from a loss...but, nobody came. Just you.”

 

She pointed to her this time, and Vera swallowed, lowering her gaze.

 

“I don't want to be _rude_...but can I ask you what happened Vera? You had lost someone?”

 

When these words came out of her mouth she regretted them immediately, maybe she was crossing a slim line, maybe she had step inside of a private place, where she wasn't suppose to go without permission. But then, to her surprise, Vera looked at her and shrugged.

 

“Maybe...”

 

She whispered, than walked slowly toward the big blue flower. Abby frowned, but remained quiet.

 

“It's about my _son_.”

 

She said, while touching the little flowers of the plant. Abby felt a pang in her heart.

 

_Was her son dying?_

 

“I am afraid that I lost him for good Abigail.”

 

Abby shifted her position and put a hand on Vera's arm.

 

“What happened?”

 

She asked, and Vera looked up at her for a moment, then focused her attention on the flower again.

 

“He just grew up I think.”

 

She closed her eyes and let out a sigh.

 

“He was such a curious child you know? He was always so interested in the world around him. Always asking questions and trying to collect information. He wanted to know how everything worked, how everything was as it was and...why! It was so funny to take him to see new places. We traveled a lot in his first five years of life, and even if he can't remember that...he was always enjoying our trips. Since the first time he was able to walk he never stopped to search and look for new things, something exciting, something interesting.”

 

Vera was now stroking the little flowers up on the corolla with her fingertips.

 

“He was always reading, and was interested in learning languages, he speaks four languages...you know that? He is really smart, he had always been.”

 

Her voice sounded nostalgic, as if those memories were covered with a black and intense darkness that was heavily dragging them down, into a hole inside of her heart.

 

“He is a police officer. He could be anything, he could be a history teacher, a traveler, an inventor, he could study for all of his life, he could have done so many things. And yet...he decided to do just the _right_ thing, being the _good_ _guy_ , being the man that would act for the law. He had always liked rules you know?”

 

He turned to her as to see if she was still listening, Abby smiled and nodded, even if Vera wasn't really paying attention to her.

 

“He had always tied to be the good one, the right one. He was always telling to the other kids when they were doing something wrong, and reproached them. It was hilarious. He was just as his father, they were so similar. And when he died...he was too little to feel the pain. But I felt it for both of us.”

 

She bowed her head and sniffed back some tears.

 

“I miss him Abigail. I miss my child. I miss him as if he died. But he is pretty much alive.”

 

Abby frowned and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

 

“He is just too busy. He is always working, or too tired, or just...bored at the idea to come here. Because he has to do other things, important things. And I can't go to him. Not just because I have so much to do here – _she gesture around her surroundings_ – but because he doesn't want me inside of his house. I never saw it you know? I don't know why he is keeping me away from it. I don't really know...”

 

Abby felt compassion inside of her heart, but kept it there, she wasn't going to tell her something as _“I am sorry_ ” she was going just to listen, quietly, as the Tulip did with her.

 

“He is a good man, don't take me wrong, he is kind, and generous...but he doesn't remember this about himself. He became the good guy...but he saw so many bad things for that, he had to make so many hard decisions that he is forgetting how wonderful he is. He can be caring and kind, but he is hiding himself behind a mask, behind the image of a cold soldier, a cold stranger...”

 

She blinked, a tear escaped her eye and traced a shining line on her cheek.

 

“I want my son back Abigail, I want him back for himself mostly. Because he deserves to be the man he truly is...he needs to remember how many beautiful things are hide behind his uniform, his medals. He needs to remember and to understand...- _She stroked one of the tiny flowers_ – how much this is hurting me...and destroying himself”

 

Abby swallowed, she had tears in her brown eyes, but wasn't going to let them drop down, this wasn't her time to let out, this was Vera's moment. So she decided to distract herself from the impulse with a question.

 

“What is his name?”

 

She asked, while closing her eyes and forcing them shut. The tears withdraw. Vera smiled and looked at her. They exchanged a quiet look.

 

“Marcus. His name is Marcus”

 

Abby smiled and tilted her head.

 

“And which one if Marcus' favorite color?”

 

She asked her suddenly, without thinking. Vera frowned

 

“It's the Green, why?”

 

Abby smiled and walked slowly toward a drawer in the desk, she opened it and took one of the silky ribbon that were meant for presents. She fastened it around the big jar. Than turned to Vera.

 

“Now find a place in which you feel comfortable, Vera.”

 

She handed her the big jar, and Vera took it without a word. She looked at her for a long moment, Abby held her gaze, they exchanged a quiet talk with their eyes. Then Vera walked slowly outside, the green silky ribbon shimmered under the sun.

 

Abby smiled and than started to cry quietly.

 

 

* * *

 

_Now_

 

 

The air that night was sweet and fresh, and welcomed Abby as a fresh hug.

 

She rushed outside the building without thinking, she needed to take a moment for herself.

 

_What the hell just happened?_

 

First she was feeling awkward and embarrassed, and then she was dancing with that stranger, that wasn't exactly a stranger anymore, as if they were having the time of their life.

 

She was sweating and trembling, her heart was beating fast and her legs were weak. She leaned against the white wall, few steps from the entrance's door and waited in silence until the mood started to fade away.

 

_Ok Abby, keep calm. You don't know this man and it's your first date (it is even a date?) in years after Jake. So keep calm, it's perfectly fine to feel nervous.  
_

 

She swallowed and shook her head, because that wasn't the point. Not at all.

 

_I know things about him, I know his mother and...what if she followed my suggestion? What if she had done such a thing that day? Then...it would be my fault._

 

The mood turned from anxious to sad, she opened her eyes and looked up at the moon.

 

Was it really her fault? In the end she had just talked to her, sincerely, giving her a personal and not interested opinion. Even if she was indeed interested about Vera's life. As a mother herself she felt her, she got her.

 

That woman had help her so much with her grief, and when she had found out what was going on with her son, she had felt the urge to tell her to do something, to change things.

 

“ _If it's hurting you, you should probably tell him”_

 

She was still able to recall the image of Vera's face, how her eyes had react to her words, how her lips had tremble, as to say something, and how she had just nodded as usual, with her kind and caring smile and had hugged her, wishing her just the best things in life.

 

And she remembered how she had felt when she had walked under the cold rain that day, approaching slowly Callie's car, feeling lighter and happier, hoping that the woman was going to follow her suggestion.

 

She was lost in that memory, when a shadow appeared beside her.

 

She already knew who it belonged to without looking.

 

“Are you alright?”

 

He asked, with his warm voice, whispering as always... _why was he always whispering?_ It was so hard to focus when his voice was so low and deep, always carrying her thoughts away with its sound for a moment.

 

“Mh-mh”

 

She murmured, biting her lips, because right now she wasn’t able to tell anything different without yelling something like

 

“ _It's my fault Marcus, she went to you because I told her to!”_

 

So she remained quiet and looked up at the moon. Marcus nodded in the darkness and leaned beside her on the wall.

 

“Do you want to tell me what is going on?”

 

He asked. And Abby thought about it, she thought about it for a long and slow moment. Her mind was trying to decide what to do...when the noise of an engine attracted her attention.

 

Lincoln, the kind guy of the market, was driving slowly a dark green pickup in front of the house. She bit her lips, her mind was still twisting around the idea to tell him what was bothering her, to tell him that she talked to his mother, to tell him that she didn't mind her own business that day, that she crossed a line, that she introduced herself in his life as she was allowed to.

 

She thought about how good she had felt that day, hanging out with a completely stranger, with whom she had felt a connection, probably something deep inside of both of them was trying to make them connect with each other, like is it was all planned.

 

Life sometimes is like that, sometimes you don't have to ask yourself why or how...you have just to feel it. To let the moment come in.

 

But in the end. He was just a new friend, an handsome, kind and beautiful new friend, with she had a beautiful afternoon and a pleasant dinner, a funny moment shared slicing fruit and singing, that she ended with a pathetic and useful run outside the door.

 

Because Abby was like that, inside of that big white bright house she had felt as she was exposed, naked...not literally, more deeply. As her emotions, her memories, her feelings...were all scattered on the marble floor of the building, as her mind was an open book, as her soul, even if she wasn't sure she had one, was palpable, as if she could see it hovering upon her head, and it was judging her.

 

That was the power of that warm house, with that splendid woman, that had always a kind word, a bright smile, with her sensitive emotional heart.

 

And she wasn't strong enough to face the memories inside of that house again probably, not after what she had found out.

 

That she just met the man she wasn't supposed to meet. The son she wasn't supposed to laugh with. The distant and cold grown man she wasn't supposed to have dinner with.

 

That was just so stupid. She wasn't a teenager, and she didn't believe in _faith_.

 

That was something more similar to _karma_.

 

As if she was now forced to face the consequences of her past actions. She introduced herself in his mother life, she did it, and even if he was here right now, even if it seemed as if they were happy as mother and son again...she still felt guilty.

 

Because it wasn't her right to tell her what to do, it wasn't her right to force her.

 

_But maybe it wasn't you, maybe life just fixed things for them. Maybe he changed just because he wanted to._

 

And in the end...the kind man beside her, that was now looking at her with worried eyes in the dark and fresh night, wasn't even a little bit similar to the man she had hear about four years earlier.

 

This man was the child Vera's talked about. This man wasn't the reason behind that blue hydrangea, this was the kid that was so similar to his dad. This was the curious baby boy, this was the generous and gorgeous man Vera saw growing inside of her boy.

 

And she felt as if she knew him since that day, because her mind wasn't able to separate Vera's words from the new friend marcus was supposed to be. And his dark eyes seemed so sad right now.

 

He was really worried...because he was just as his mother.

 

For him it didn't matter if he knew you since ever or since a day. Once you had stepped inside of his filed of view, he had to be sure you was ok. He couldn't let you walk out of it with something wrong.

 

Because he was the man behind the uniform, the good man.

 

And Abby wanted so badly to know more about that man, to see for herself every aspect of him, just because...he was attracting her toward him, as if they were...meant to know each other.

 

She realized she was staring at him without saying a word. Marcus raised an eyebrow.

 

“Abigail?”

 

He whispered, and Abby swallowed again, than collect her thoughts and figured out what to do.

 

“Lincoln?”

 

She said, a bit louder to reach the guy's ears, without stop looking at Marcus. He turned toward Lincoln and frowned. Abby took the chance to shift position and walk toward the pickup.

 

“Hey Lincoln?”

 

She said again. The young man blinked, as to focus more on her in the dark, when he recognized her, he smiled.

 

“Abby, hi”

 

He said, smiling.

 

“Hey. Can I ask you a big favor?”

 

She asked, her arms wrapped around herself.

 

“Sure”

 

She smiled, because the people there were just so _generous_ , she missed that sensation, she was overwhelmed with that feeling when she was in that house, she had love every second of it.

 

“Can you drive me to a bus stop? I really need to go back home, but I don't want to bother Marcus...so I was thinking...”

 

In the meantime Marcus had approach them, and had listen to her words.

 

“What are you talking about Abigail? I can drive you back to your car”

 

He said, and Abby smiled for herself in the dark, she closed her eyes and took a long breathe. Than she turned to him.

 

“You are here with your mother Marcus, I don't want to bother, I just need to be back home because...I am feeling a little tired and cold, but it's perfectly fine for you to stay here, so...if for Lincoln it's ok – S _he turned to him, Lincoln smiled and nodded_ – I will go with him, so you can stay here a little longer”

 

She nodded to herself and Marcus remained quiet, a confused expression all over his face.

 

“Ok...well – H _e put his hands inside of his pockets_ – if this is what you want”

 

He nodded to the pickup and smiled kindly. Abby smiled back.

 

“Thank you...”

 

She whispered. Lincoln cleared his throat.

 

“Ok, if you give me just another minute, I need to finish a thing...than we can go.”

 

Abby nodded and Lincoln walked away. Abby remained where she was, arms thigh around her chest, Marcus was looking at her.

 

“I hope that nothing is wrong between us...”

 

He said. Abby felt guilty, after all it wasn't his fault if she was such a nevrotic woman.

 

“No, oh no Marcus, it's perfectly fine I...I had fun today”

 

She said, forcing herself to act normally. He nodded and bit his lower lip.

 

“Ok, I am glad, I had fun too”

 

He said, his eyes seemed as if they were digging inside of her, as to get her real feelings. As if he was still worried about her.

 

_This man..._

 

“Ok, we are ready!”

 

Lincoln said, and behind him appeared Vera, two cups in her hands, she was smiling.

 

“Hey Abigail, I heard you are leaving, so I thought to come and say goodnight”

 

She approached her and with a arm closed her into an embrace. Abby closed her eyes and breathed in her delicate scent, it was like a caress of honey and soap. It was full of memories, it was just the same from four years ago.

 

“Goodnight Vera, it was a pleasure to see you again...”

 

She whispered, her voice remained trapped between Vera's shirt and hair. She smiled and withdraw.

 

“The pleasure was mine darling. Here – _She handed her the cups_ – take some of this fruit home, so you will not forget about us for too long. I hope you will come around soon. - _She turned to Marcus_ – especially now that you and my son are becoming _friends_ ”

 

She said, her eyes were as a warm blanket on her tiny shivering figure, Abby smiled and took the cups.

 

“I will come again Vera, I _promise_ ”

 

And she meant it, she was _sure_ about it. She had to.

 

“Maybe we can come with the guys, your daughter and my...my kids”

 

Marcus said, while reaching his mother and squeezing her shoulders.

 

“It's such a _wonderful_ idea darling”

 

She said, looking at him in the eyes. Abby bit her lips. They seemed so in harmony together.

 

“Why not? We have time to see what the future will bring us...right?”

 

She said, looking at them.

 

“Of course darling, of course... - S _he broke the contact with Marcus and approached her, and put her warm hands on Abby's shoulder –_ Remember to take your time sweetheart, be good Abigail”

 

She whispered, and hugged her again one last time.

  
Abby smiled and nodded, holding the cups right in front of her chest. Marcus smiled to her mother, whom was now walking back to the house in silent. And then turned to her for the last time.

 

“Goodnight Abigail so... we see each other around”

 

He said, walking a little toward her, without touching her. His voice seemed curious and hopeful about her answer.

 

“Yes...goodnight Marcus”

 

She whispered back and than walked fast to the pickup's door.

 

While she was climbing inside the vehicle, she saw that Lincoln and Marcus exchanged few words and than greeted each other. Marcus waved a hand toward her and she gave him a nod and a brief smile.

 

Than Lincoln was on the pickup with her.

 

“Ok, we can go.”

 

Abby nodded and felt as the anxiety was starting to let her body be able to breath correctly and to relax. Lincoln started the vehicle and smiled to her.

 

The bright lights cleared the way and when the pickup started to move, Abby leaned a little more on her seat.

 

“You can let me at a randomly bus stop, I just need to be sure that a night bus will come.”

 

Lincoln chuckled.

 

“No Ma'am, I am driving you toward your car”

 

He said, and Abby blinked.

 

“No, wait what? No you don't have to, I am perfectly fine with a bus stop, for real!”

 

She wasn't going to force him to drive so many miles. But Lincoln smiled.

 

“It's ok, I already need to go to the city so...it's perfectly fine Abby, _relax_ ”

 

He said and smiled one last time. Than focused completely on the dark country road. Abby sighed and nodded, than she just did that...she _relaxed_.

 

And the big white house they were leaving behind their backs, was still a vivid and bright memory in her mind. And she knew it would be like that for a long long time.

 

And while she fell asleep on her seat, a voice echoed in her head, it was singing...

 

" _I'm pickin' up good vibrations"_

 

 

 


End file.
